The Ticket Master

Like for many families, the last three months of the year starts the whirlwind of busyness for us. It seems like Halloween leads directly into Thanksgiving, then to Christmas and on through New Year’s Day.

Of course, there’s no shortage of events along the way that make for great traditions. From trunk-or-treats and haunted houses, to big dinners, to light displays and going to see Santa, there are plenty of cool things to fill your calendar.

Some of these events require tickets to be purchased. And with several family members and the popularity of some of these events, it can be nerve-racking to make sure to buy the correct number of tickets for the exact agreed upon date and time. Swifties know what I’m talking about.

Three specific events come to mind for my family – mostly because I’m the one in charge of getting the tickets.

It starts in August when the tickets for Yuletide Celebration in downtown Indianapolis go on sale. Yes, I said August. This means I have to start singing my fa-la-las and put myself in the Christmas spirit when it’s 105 degrees outside. But I guess I do what I gotta do for my family. Maybe I can soften the blow by playing Beach Boys Christmas music. Best of both worlds.

The next event is the Sullivan Express to Pumpkintown at Allisonville Home and Garden by Sullivan. After that is the Sullivan Express Christmas train at Sullivan Hardware. Now at least these tickets go on sale closer to the actual holidays.

All three of these events are so popular that if you don’t log in and buy tickets at the exact time they go on sale, the chances of getting the date and times you want are pretty much zero.

And this is where the pressure comes into the mix.

At each of these events, I have no fewer than nine people that I must not let down. So, if I don’t want to have to sit in the corner by myself at Thanksgiving, I have to make a plan for my ticket purchasing process.

On the day tickets for an event go on sale, I wake up as usual and take my Zoloft. Then I remember it’s ticket day and immediately take another one. Then I have to start pumping myself up like I’m about to take the field at the Super Bowl. Ok, it’s game time.

T-minus 30 minutes: I lock myself in a secluded space and open the ticket purchasing website. Because ticket days determine my standing in the family, I open the site on a desktop, laptop and my phone all at the same time.

T-minus 15 minutes: I constantly check and refresh the website to make sure they don’t open the queue early.

T-minus 5 minutes: My palms start to sweat. There is a lump in my throat. My heartbeat is elevated and my breathing deepens.

T-minus 2 minutes: Another Zoloft.

T-minus 1 minute: I’m in full blown hyperventilation. My eyes are seeing double. I’ve pooped myself without noticing.

T-minus 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1: In the words of the great Shaboozey, “Oh my, Good Lord.”

When the site opens for purchasing those coveted tickets, I’m in a zone. A tornado landing on my head couldn’t distract me. It’s like my hands have minds of their own, as I click and buy. By the time I come to, several minutes later, I look at the screens to see what happened while I was blacked out.

I did it! I got the exact days and times my family wanted. I even got us front row tickets to Yuletide.

I AM THE TICKET MASTER!!!

The moral of the story is … If you don’t want rocks for Halloween or coal in your stocking, make sure you are fully prepared for ticket buying day. Plenty of finger exercises and some Zoloft should do.

Tim Rathz can be reached at 40somethinginfishers@gmail.com. Follow on Facebook or Instagram.