The power within

If there is anything that living with a disability has taught me, it is that we are all far more capable of what we allow ourselves to imagine. At times, presented with scenarios that are unexpected, where there is no way out, except for the power within.

Likely, you have found yourselves in these types of situations throughout your lifetime. When something happened to you, and the only way out was leaning on strength you did not know existed inside of you.

A few years ago, my parents were out of town, and I stopped by their house to take their mail inside for them. It had been misting that morning but had since stopped. Things were not overly wet. Nothing that would have made me think to be extra cautious as I walked.

I stepped out of my car and turned to shut the door. The next thing I knew, I was on the ground, my left leg twisted behind me and underneath the car.

At first, I was stunned, as again, there was nothing to cause concern of any impending danger for my walking that day. Next, came the panic, quickly followed by the searing pain in my knee.

At the time, I was driving a Ford Explorer, my phone left in the console, as I was just doing a quick drop off and then heading home. I frantically felt my wrist for my trusty Apple watch, bought for times like this. I had fallen before in my garage and laid there for a long time, unable to get up on my own. To my disappointment, my Apple watch was not on my wrist. I remembered I had taken it off after my workout to shower and must have forgotten to put it back on.

There are no neighbors that are all that close where they live, and certainly not within shouting distance. I thought, What am I going to do? I knew I did not have the strength to pull myself up into my SUV especially with a leg that was not functioning.

To give you some perspective of my limited strength, due to my muscular dystrophy, it is really difficult for me to lift even a three-pound weight above my head. I was working with little to no chance of pulling myself into the seat of my car. My legs are far weaker than my arms.

Fighting through the pain, of a surely broken bone, I gave myself a pep talk. This is your only way. Otherwise, you are sitting here for what could be hours until someone comes along and sees you. I prayed, “Lord give me strength that I do not have.” Pleading while almost vomiting from the pain I felt.

The first challenge was moving my leg from its twisted state. Forcing yourself to feel more pain is a challenging thing to do. I reached for my leg, bracing for the pain, and pulled it around. You’ve got this, I told myself. I did it. Step one done.

Next, I had to get my car door open. From the ground, I was barely able to reach the handle, and I could not get on my knees because of the pain. I had to find the strength to pull it open from a seated position. I took a short break and gave it a tug. No success. I was beginning to feel hopeless. I prayed some more. “Please God, please help me.” Giving it another tug, I managed to get it cracked open.

I took another break, and then pushed the door open enough to try my next strategy. I needed to get my body turned more to get some leverage to be able to push the door open all the way. I took a deep breath and was able to do that and move on. Working in small steps helped me manage the situation.

I looked up from the ground and spotted my steering wheel. There was no part of my reality that would make me think that grabbing my steering wheel and pulling my entire body weight up to stand on one leg would make any sense. Yet, that is what I prayed to be able to do.

It took me several attempts, but much to my surprise I finally found myself standing on one leg.

As I finally was sitting behind the wheel of my car, the amazement that I had done it dulled the pain for a few seconds. I took in what had just taken place over the course of about 30 minutes. There was no logical explanation for it. I had tapped into the power within myself to get out of a hopeless situation.

From there, I was able to make a phone call to my husband who rushed home to help me to the doctor. I had fractured my kneecap. I felt lucky that it was not worse than that.

Can you think back on a time in your life when you had a strength beyond what you thought yourself capable of?

That experience served as a powerful reminder that when pushed to the edge, giving up is not the answer. For me, leaning on my faith is what lifted me up with a whole new confidence to face my next challenge.

Until next time …

Amy Shinneman is a former National Ambassador for the Muscular Dystrophy Association, disability blogger, wife, and mom of two boys. You can find her blog at humblycourageous.com and reach her on Instagram @ashinneman.