Ouch! Ouch! … and then a foreign language came from my lips. The GPS of my little toe had directed it straight into the wooden foot of our chaise lounge chair. The pain made an immediate diagnosis of a broken toe.
Now, some two weeks later, I’m still limping. The healing is taking time.
If you think a writer does not endure pain to hone her craft, may I tell you … she does. That pain can turn into a story she writes – maybe not from her heart, but from her toe.
Funny thing is that this story came to me as I got up to go to the bathroom at five o’clock on a Thursday morning. My little toe quickly reminded me that it had only been two weeks since it was broken. There was no timetable for its healing. I had to be patient whether I wanted to or not.
My broken toe had affected other parts of my body. My hip told me I was walking with a different gait. My knee told me it did not like the direction I wanted it to go.
I guess this is the parable of the broken toe.
You see, I broke it while we were in Tampa, the day before we planned to go to the beach. Nothing was going to keep me away from making my way to spend time listening to the waves from the gulf as they came onto the beach to greet me.
My aching toe was just a distraction – yes, a painful one. The pain might slow me down and keep me from walking up and down the beach, but knowing what the beach does for my soul made it worth the pain to get there, even if it was just to sit and ponder. The waters of the gulf may not heal my toe, but it would help heal other places that hurt. The pain would not steal the joy my soul would find at the beach.
Other parts of my body hurt because my broken toe affected them. That toe might be little, but I realized just how many things it affected.
Now, back to the parable.
I realize that even when I am healing from emotional hurts, the hurting affects more than just my heart. The hurt affects my sight, how I see my present circumstances, and how I see my future. The questions. The what-ifs. How will I react to triggers that take me back to the hurt? Will I take the chance to be hurt again? How long will it take to forgive, knowing I can never forget being hurt?
And when the hurt seems to be healing, will I be able to see the love and faith I acquired along the way? Will I see how much stronger I’ve become? There really is something to this faith journey.
The darkness in the time I found myself hurting makes the light of the healing even sweeter. I look back and see that while the hurt changed me … it did not define me. Read that again. My hurts do not define me … they refine me.
My broken toe gave me a new perspective on pain. For that, I can be thankful. I’m just hoping I can find stories and parables to write that aren’t so painful.
Janet Hart Leonard can be contacted at janethartleonard@gmail.com or followed on Facebook or Instagram (@janethartleonard). Visit janethartleonard.com.