The meeting

During my last column, I shared about the call that I received from my sister about the birth of a baby boy that we all prayed would be her son. The call came on a Saturday evening in January where she told my husband and me that a birth mother had chosen them to be the parents to a baby boy.

After many prayers from family and strangers near and far, a few sleepless nights, and many anxious calls and texts, I finally got the news that I longed to hear. I looked down at my phone on Monday afternoon to see the text that said, “She signed.” I immediately felt relief consume my body and the realization became clearer that this was actually real and happening.

The next couple of days were filled with excitement and figuring out what was needed for them to bring home this precious little boy who my family longed for. A couple of days later, my sister and brother-in-law were released with this tiny bundle and began the journey back home to begin their new lives.

In a week’s time, my sister and brother-in-law went from “out on a Thursday evening at a dinner and cigar bar” to “first-time parents with a newborn in tow.” The whirlwind was nearly too much to comprehend how quickly life can change all with a phone call. On that Friday, my sister went from heading to a banquet downtown to seeing the adoption agency’s phone number flash on her screen. She answered the phone and was told that they had been selected by a birth mother and asked if they could head to the hospital first thing the next morning.

What happened from there was nothing short of an emotional rollercoaster of emotions. You’re dealing with the trauma of a birth mother signing over her child to virtual strangers. Her actions resulted in the greatest answered prayers my family has ever had. Adoption is devastatingly beautiful. What is heartbreaking for the birth mother is in turn the greatest blessing for an eager couple, desperate to complete their family. None of this was lost on me. As a bystander I felt so many emotions watching this entire situation unfold. I looked at it as the protective older sister and eager aunt, but also as a mother. There is a narrative about adoption that is sometimes glossed over for many, and I think recognizing the beautiful, yet traumatic emotions that accompany the adoption process is the first step in healing for all parties.

I will never forget the drive over to meet my nephew. I already loved him and had never even been in his presence. I was already proud of him even though he didn’t know who I was. I was already ready to protect and care for him for the rest of my life even though I’d never held him.

I walked into my sister’s house that Tuesday evening and laid eyes on what I knew was the best thing to happen to our family since the birth of my own children. I looked at my sister and brother-in-law and felt a sense of contentment. I knew that she would now experience the joys and struggles of motherhood. I knew that even though my sister is 30 years old that both she and my brother-in-law had been rebirthed.

I envisioned the excitement of the pitter patter of feet running down the halls of their home. I pictured the first time he would smile at them. I envisioned the matching outfits for the baby and my own son for Easter and our family’s favorite Christmas show, Yuletide. I thought about the first time my nephew was going to look at them and say, “I love you.”

There is goodness and innocence in this world and if you don’t feel that way, you haven’t held a baby recently. As we embark on Mother’s Day, a day that is often such a sensitive time for so many people, I realize that my sister will finally get to join the club. She finally has her happy ending. The struggles and tribulations over the last couple of years have waned a bit as I see her holding my Godson.

To my Godson, thank you for making my sister a mom. Thank you for completing our family. Thank you for the innocent joy that you bring to a room. I love you as if you were my own and will always have your back. Oh, and Happy Birthday, Emily! I love you!

Megan Rathz is a wife, mother, and teacher. She says everything she has ever learned in life came from her Master Gardener mother.