The brief history of his Standing-O

I experienced my first-ever STANDING OVATION – finally!

This, after hosting, and performing in, an estimated 160 musical-comedy benefit shows from 2011 to 2024, first “Will Read and Sing for Food,” then its spinoff, “Wait … What?”

Yes – a Standing-O.

Thirteen years in the making!

Not the obligatory Sitting-O, for which I’ve been conditioned. I’ve experienced plenty of applause from audiences who stayed seated. Deserved or not, it provided sustenance for my withering ego, an audible fix for me, a pathetic affirmation junkie.

To applaud one’s performance is Audience Etiquette 101, stretching to ancient times. It likely occurred in the Bible when Jesus pulled off his much-touted “great haul of fishes” miracle – as noted in the Book of Zebco. It is assumed that the fishermen applauded this net-stretching miracle … well, maybe, at first there was an awkward silence that caused Jesus to realize he needed to desperately end his act on a more dramatic note, thus resorting to a showman’s flourish of simultaneously snapping his fingers, swiveling his left forearm vertically, opening his left palm heavenward, and exclaiming, “Ta-da!” After that, I bet everyone clapped … well, except maybe for that one fuddy-duddy fisherman of the bunch who complained: “Wouldn’t you think the Son of God could’ve at least cleaned the fish while he was at it? Jeez, must we always do everything? Fish! That’s what he gives us? We are seaside! What’s so miraculous about fish? Pizza would’ve added a nice flair. Slices from John’s of Bleeker Street. Now that would’ve been a miracle.”

CBS News Sunday Morning recently aired a segment about the history of applause. Jane Pauley, show host and a great Hoosier, reported that claps were all the rage in early French theatre. In fact, actors were hired just to sit in the audience and applaud the much more accomplished A-list actors actually on stage. They also laughed on cue – or cried – whatever the role required! That they were paid to applaud isn’t a real surprise considering … well … they were having to painfully endure French theatre. Without staged, compensated applause, all that likely would’ve been heard at a performance’s end would be the French chirps of crickets.

Centuries later, this French practice, originally known as “Les acteurs applaudissent les acteurs,” was renamed “Hollywood Awards Season,” during which inferior actors continued the tradition of applauding peers who beat them out of an Oscar. True to French tradition, to this very day, they are still compensated for clapping, each receiving a Super Wealthy Actor Gear (SWAG) bag containing a Tinsel Town treasure trove of items representing a combined monetary value that surpasses the GNP of most third-world nations.

But, back to my Standing-O!

It happened June 6 just after guest renowned musician Erin Hill closed our “Wait … What?” benefit show with a Puccini soprano aria, “O Mio Babbino Caro” (Italian for “My Baby Car” … {but don’t hold me to that}). She delivered her final lyrics, “Babbo, pietà, pietà,” and graced us with one last glissando, resulting in our audience rising to their feet with fervent applause.

Bravo!

Bravo!

A Standing-O!

“For me?” I foolishly gushed into the mic Sally Fields-like (luckily, the mic was dead) and held my arms open widely, insinuating a room-wide hug, all this while realizing that everyone was actually gazing at, and applauding for, Erin, seated just to my right.

It was her Standing-O – not mine!

Still, how could I not feel like Icarus just before the melting of his beeswaxed wings, what with this harp-plucking angel being warmly fêted a mere bee’s breath away?

Erin beamed from where she sat at her heavenly harp, a showbiz angel in our midst. Harps and angels! Harps and angels! I basked in her sunny glow. No, I baked! My skin felt singed during her Standing-O, that rapturous sound, that sweet, sudden, awesome, pause-less applause coming on the heels of our 90-minute performance meant to raise funds for a local, no-kill animal shelter.

Erin performed with us because of her soft spot for rescue dogs. Plus, she likely had grown tired of hearing me beg, like a dog, while trying to convince her to join our show.

We were lucky to have been able to share in Erin’s limelight. Here are a few of her career highlights: an album of hers reached No. 1 on the Billboard world charts; she was in the original Broadway casts of Titanic and Urinetown; she has worked along Cyndi Lauper, Kanye West, Josh Groban, and Sinead O’Connor, just to name-drop a few professional peers.

She performed at Meghan Markle’s baby shower. She appeared on Comedy Central’s Chappelle’s Show, The Chris Rock Show, The Tony Awards, and she holds the distinction of soloing at Royal Albert Hall.

Now, add to that scoring a guest spot on “Wait … What?” (You do know I’m joking, right?)

Obviously, standing next to Erin is the closest I’ll ever come to experiencing an otherwise elusive, Standing-O existence.

Not that I’m not complaining. After all, I arrange these shows for the cause, not the applause.

This column has ended. Applaud, if compelled. Stand, if moved. Oh, and send audio if you do the former – video, if the latter. I’ll review it daily, taking what I can get.

Email Scott at scottsaalman@gmail.com.