Sandwiched
I lied to my mother last week. And I had the support of my family and friends to do it.
Let’s rewind. I’ve shared with you all in past Sandwiched columns that Mom likes to use a lot of perfume. Well, maybe I shouldn’t say a lot. That’s way off. She uses a TON of it.
I had also shared that when people get older, their sense of smell isn’t as strong. Mom demonstrates that perfectly. She’s used the same perfume for decades, and I swear she’s been increasing the quantity with each passing year.
Ordinarily this wouldn’t be a big deal, but since I do her laundry, it’s become a problem. I’m sensitive to smells. It got to the point last year where I would do her laundry and take it out to my car immediately afterwards so my house wouldn’t stink. However, my car would reek for days until I saw Mom again.
When the pandemic hit, Mom’s facility started to do her laundry at no charge. While it was hard to not see her as often, I have to admit it was a relief to not have to battle the odor every week.
When restrictions eased up in early October and I could enter her apartment, I was back on laundry duty. Having been away from the nauseating smell for so long, that first load and the subsequent ones did a number on me. It got to the point where I was dreading getting into my Mini Cooper – and I LOVE my Mini Cooper.
Soon my weary brain concocted a plan. Mom’s perfume has been difficult to find in recent years. Perhaps I could just tell her it wasn’t made any longer. I pushed that thought away, however. I didn’t want to lie to her and knew she loved the scent.
But after literally gagging one week when I got into my car, I had enough. I told my siblings and some close friends about my plan and everyone was supportive.
So when Mom called to tell me she was out of perfume last week I was ready.
“Sorry, Mom, but I can’t find it anymore. I think they must have discontinued it.” I said, kind of glad I wasn’t telling her this face to face. There was a pause.
“Oh. That’s a shame.” Mom replied.
“Yep.” I said a bit too quickly.
“Okay, well, can you find me something else?” She asked.
Crap. There was another pause.
“Sure, Mom, I’ll see what’s out there.” I weakly replied. She thanked me profusely, I hung up, then literally slumped across my dining room table.
When I texted my sister-in-law about this fun turn of events, she suggested a lighter, less expensive perfume, which is on the way to Mom’s as we speak. I can only pray this one doesn’t linger so long and isn’t overpowering.
In the meantime, Mom’s laundry has been relegated to the upper level of our garage between visits. Both my Mini Cooper and I are much happier.