Over the two-plus decades of doing food charity work, we have had the opportunity to meet many neighbors in need. Generally, as a rule, when we meet someone at a pantry, we give them space and let people go about their business. We do not engage with them unless they initiate a conversation. Those who engage with a volunteer are usually thankful, many are sad, and a few are angry over the circumstances that have them shopping for a meal at the pantry.
Regardless of how the neighbor is feeling, our response is the same: empathy, listen, and show respect.
Many of our neighbors who shop from a Feeding Team pantry are not used to taking help from someone else. They are hesitant and cautious; the last thing that they need to experience is disrespect, shame, or embarrassment.
This month, I received a troubling social media message from a neighbor asking me to call her to talk about her recent pantry experience. When we spoke on the phone, this young lady told me her story.
She was shopping at an area pantry on behalf of an unemployed friend with no transportation. As she was taking items to her SUV another woman approached her vehicle. Walking up from behind the car the woman proceeded to lecture the shopper on pantry etiquette. “You’re taking more than six items, that’s against the rules,” she said as she took out her phone and began filming. I’ll spare everyone the next several minutes where the interaction reverted to what can best be described as a fifth-grade playground “nanny nanny boo boo” and tattling session.
We absolutely appreciate each person who contributes to, sorts, cleans, supports, and pays attention to the pantries. Yes, it is disappointing when people take more than they should, and yes, it happens more than we would like. However, disrespecting those in need – or, in this case, a neighbor shopping to help someone else – doesn’t represent what Feeding Team stands for. The right answer never includes disrespect. Most shoppers respect the model and just take what they need.
Feeding Team has always been aware that our model for feeding hungry neighbors is susceptible to abuse. We take the position that when that happens it’s between them and God. If we interact with neighbors in these situations, our response is always to respectfully ask them to keep their selections to six items and refer the shopper to food pantries that are better equipped to accommodate larger needs. Hunger in our county is real; respect in serving those in need is our approach, every time!
People are not entitled to receive the Feeding Team’s help; we give it freely to the best of our ability. Further, we encourage as much grace as possible as a response to situations. That is the takeaway, and that is the lesson from this month’s situation.
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Feeding Team provides a way and a place for those in need to get food for their family. While each pantry really is just a big wooden yellow box, it means so much more for donors and for families in need. You are welcome to join us as together we fight to eliminate hunger in our area cities.
With over 40,000 food-challenged neighbors in Hamilton County, FeedingTeam.org is a registered 501(c)(3) not-for-profit organization that provides outdoor 24/7/365 no-questions-asked free food pantries throughout the county.
The pantries exist to meet the food insecurity needs of gap families, neighbors who may not qualify for public assistance and could use a few meals before payday. The pantries serve as many food-challenged neighbors as possible, and our hearts are with those who, like my family, could not always make ends meet.
Thank you for supporting the pantries. We love serving with so many neighbors across Hamilton County. In future columns, we will share more stories about how your generosity served neighbors in times of need. The face of hunger in Hamilton County is not what you may think.
In practical terms, this straightforward way to help neighbors is having real impact on lives, families, and our communities. Thank you. A few meals can change the course of a person’s life. A can of green beans means so much more when you have nothing to feed your kids.
Would you like to get involved? Volunteer opportunities are available. We are evaluating new pantry locations. If you think you have a potential location, please contact us.
Mark and Lisa Hall are the Founders of Feeding Team. They may be reached at lisa@feedingteam.org and mark@feedingteam.org or by calling (317) 832-1123.