This week we’re continuing our discussion about how to reduce the mental load of housecleaning. I mentioned that I’ve hired someone to do a deep clean of our home once a month and my reasons for doing so.
Paying someone to clean your home may not be as costly as you think. If you go out to eat a little less often or give up some material goods, you may be able to create some room in your budget. And it’s worth it. According to research from Ashley Whillans, assistant professor at Harvard Business School, people who spend money to save time are happier than those who spend it on material goods – significantly happier.
Even with cutting out certain things in our budget, we certainly haven’t always been able to afford this option. When my sons were little, I would occasionally hire a “mother’s helper” – a teenage girl from our neighborhood who would spend three or four hours entertaining Jonathon and Jacob while I cleaned. Since I was still at home, technically it wasn’t babysitting, so it wasn’t as expensive as a night out. And the kids enjoyed someone new to play with.
Alyssa’s wonderful service is a huge help nowadays. However, there’s still plenty of cleaning left. There’s always the picking up and straightening that I need to do the night before she arrives. My husband laughs and calls it the “cleaning before the cleaning.” But, to put it simply, housecleaners can’t do an effective job for you if they can’t reach what needs to be cleaned.
Of course, I do small touch-up cleaning jobs between sessions such as scrubbing toilets and wiping down the kitchen sink, stove, and counters. And there’s no escaping the everyday jobs like laundry, dishes, etc.
Some people can’t afford or simply won’t pay someone to clean or help clean their house. I’m sure some of you are shaking your head thinking about my situation wondering why I haven’t asked my husband and kids to pitch in. The crazy answer is that years ago I never even thought about it. It goes back to what I discussed earlier in this series.
My mother managed and implemented almost all the household tasks. I know her mother did the same thing, as my grandpa both worked on his farm and ran a barbershop in downtown South Bend, Ind.
So, when I first married John, I just automatically filled that same role. And even with working a full-time job outside the home at the time, I think I handled things well. I’m an organized, energetic person, which helps. When the boys came along, I was fortunate to find a part-time job working from home for a local nonprofit. John worked a lot of hours at the time, including evenings and weekends, so it just made sense for me to continue to be in charge of the home front.
I did have a lightbulb moment when my sons reached kindergarten and first grade. I read an article in a magazine talking about how you could teach your toddlers and preschoolers to always put away one toy before getting out another one to. Unfortunately, my kids were past that stage at the time, but I remember thinking it was a brilliant concept.
Don’t get me wrong, I did start to give the boys some simple chores back then. And when I found a full-time job at City Hall and John became a stay-at-home dad around this time, he had them doing even more things such as feeding our pets, putting away their own laundry and helping him with yard work.
But when John went back to work full-time, most of the mental labor for housecleaning and other duties fell back on me. But it doesn’t have to be that way – and lately I’ve been realizing it shouldn’t be that way. A lot of people are with me!
So how do we lighten the burden of the mental labor of housecleaning, which typically falls on one person, without paying somebody? We’ll tackle that subject next week!
Amy Shankland is a writer and fundraising professional living in Noblesville with her husband John, two sons, two dogs and a cat. You can reach her via email at amys@greenavenue.info.