Morning has peeked into my kitchen window. I’m sitting at my desk … a.k.a. my kitchen table. My paper calendar and to-do list tell me Christmas will be here before I am ready. I’ve got so much to do. I’m behind … as usual.
For years, I wanted everything to be oh-so-perfect. Then, my messy reality would arrive. I would be so disappointed with my exhausted self. Finally, I got smart. I discovered the flour-sprinkled white dishcloth of surrender. The task of baking 12 dozen cookies, decorating a tree in every room, and being the perfect hostess with the perfect mostess was put to rest … literally and figuratively.
I became present in the messy but glorious moments of the season. I chose to be present over being perfect.
As I sit here and write, I smile. The season has arrived in its merry messiness. I love it!
I look up and over at my kitchen counter. It looks like the aftermath of a baking tsunami. Forget calling the names of Santa’s reindeer. I am calling the names of ingredients. On sugars, white and brown, three types of flour, baking soda, baking powder, molasses, crushed pineapple, applesauce, and a giant bag of pecans. Oh my! The ingredients might give you a hint of the recipes I am making.
Photo provided by Janet Hart Leonard
Earlier in the week, I began my traditional on-going cookie-baking days. As I pulled spices from the cabinet, I checked the expiration dates. Ugh. I found myself dashing away to the dreaded grocery store baking aisle. Why do the spice makers have to produce such large and quite expensive containers of ingredients when the recipe only calls for a smidgeon? I won’t live long enough to need that much ginger.
Twice in the last week, I grabbed the wrong flour and became, let’s say, “creative” in my baking. No cookie or cake is ever thrown out at the Leonard house. We make it work. Sometimes, a cookie becomes a scone when unbleached flour is used instead of bleached.
I don’t bake as quickly as I used to; thus, the counter will remain the epitome of messy for a few days. I live with the best taste tester who declares every batch is a delight to his tastebuds.
Come with me into my kitchen. Please pull up a chair at my high-top kitchen table. You might have to move a thing or two. This is mission control for the holidays. I’ll fix you a cup of Highlander Grogg coffee, and you can watch a not-so-neat baker at work. My apron wears the evidence of the ingredients I am using. Watch me as I create imperfect delicacies.
I not only write from my heart, but I bake from my heart. Both can be messy at times.
Excuse the mess in my kitchen as well as in my life. I have evidence of both.
A messy kitchen is not a bad thing. A messy life is not a bad thing. There is a lot of beauty in both. I’d rather live in the present moment of messiness than in the struggles of perfection.
Taking a break to sit in my candlelit living room and watch a Hallmark movie is not a bad thing.
Pondering in front of the fireplace at Debbie’s Daughters Bakery while listening to Christmas carols is a gift to myself.
I do not need permission to be kind to myself … so says my husband. He’s been known to remind me, “Let it go, Janet.”
Perfect and productive are no longer a goal. WOW! Did I write that?
It is only when I slow down that I am able to truly enjoy the season … even the messiness that it can bring.
While making the mess in my kitchen, I remembered my dear friend whose recipes I was using. Mary Alice Collins was a top baker at the Indiana State Fair. Her recipes are now put into a cookbook that I treasure. She added love to every recipe. I hope to do the same. Sadly, she passed away a few years ago, but her memory lives on in every cookie recipe I make. I think she would be proud of the mess in my kitchen.
When I slow down and embrace the glorious messiness of my life, I can relax and enjoy the moments I might miss when I am in a hurry. My heart truly hears the message of the Christmas carols. My eyes see with greater clarity the scriptures that tell the story of the Christ child – a child born in a messy stable who came in an unexpected way.
I pray that I never miss the comfort and joy that Christmas brings when I choose present over perfect.
Now, back to my messy writing of this column while enjoying a ginger cookie.
Janet Hart Leonard can be contacted at janethartleonard@gmail.com or followed on Facebook or Instagram (@janethartleonard). Visit janethartleonard.com.
Mary Alice’s Ginger Cookies
- ¼ cup Butter
- ½ cup Shortening
- 1 cup Brown Sugar, packed
- 1 Egg
- ¼ cup Molasses
- 2 ¼ cups sifted All-Purpose Flour
- 2 teaspoons Baking Soda
- ¼ teaspoon Salt
- ½ teaspoon Cloves
- 1 teaspoon Cinnamon
- 1 teaspoon Ginger
- Granulated Sugar
* * *
- Preheat oven to 375.
- Mix shortening, sugar, egg, and molasses thoroughly. Sift and measure flour. Sift flour, soda, salt, cloves, cinnamon and ginger together. Stir dry ingredients into the shortening-sugar mixture.
- Chill.
- Roll dough into 1 ¼-inch balls. Dip the tops of the balls in sugar. Place sugar side up, three inches apart, on a greased cookie sheet (I use parchment paper.) Sprinkle each cookie with 2 or 3 drops of water.
- Bake for 8 to 10 minutes or just until set but not hard. (Best if taken out while still puffed up a little.)
Makes approximately four dozen cookies.