As a 40-something newspaper columnist, I often find myself writing about how things change as I get older. I know I’m not “old,” but I definitely act in ways now that my teenager self would find incredibly embarrassing. I guess that’s kind of par for the course. It’s the job of a young person to make a middle-aged person feel like an old person. It’s just the way of things.
What would “Something-teen in Indy Tim” say about “Forty-something in Fishers Tim”? He would probably say something about how uncool I am, then go eat everything in his mom’s kitchen and play some Sega. His interests would definitely not be the same as mine. For example …
What I listen to in the car has dramatically changed over the years. I still like to rock out from time to time to 90s music, but more often than not you’ll find me listening to jazz music or talk radio. Two genres that would land me in Teen-something jail. I’m not ashamed, though. I’ve traded in my power chord grunge flannel for easy listening polo shirts and I’m not going back.
Another teen deal-breaker would be my appreciation for birds. I very much enjoy having bird feeders and hummingbird feeders in my yard, so I can see the varieties that come to feed. Cardinals are my favorites, but there are so many to enjoy. What would really grind my teen-self gears would be my bird call app that records bird songs and identifies the type of bird for you. It’s no TikTok (or whatever the kids are using these days), but it’s perfect for me, the royal old-dudeness.
What do teenage boys love to do most? Eat, of course! Get your mind out of the gutter. In my higher metabolism, leaner years, I ate anything and everything that wasn’t nailed down. The extent of my own cooking was limited to macaroni and frozen pizza and that’s how I liked it. My food obsession has transitioned over time from eating to cooking. I still enjoy the eating part, but my fascination is the cooking, especially grilling and smoking. So, while my teen self is watching videos of the influencer of the day or the latest idiotic challenge, I will be surfing YouTube for any and every meat smoking video I can find. I can spend hours researching every technique for perfect mouthwatering brisket, beef ribs, and pork butt, which I much prefer to chewing on a Tide Pod.
What’s the teen boy’s second favorite thing? Oh, stop it. It’s watching TV and movies. While the days of going to the video store and reading the back of hundreds of video tape boxes before picking the worst movies are long gone, there are more easily accessible show choices than ever before. Instead of thrillers and comedies, my go-to shows nowadays seem to be history documentaries. I’ll watch everything from American history, to how the Egyptians built the pyramids and wrap mummies. Didn’t I tell you, Teenager Tim? I’m not just old. I’m also a nerd. I’m your worst nightmare come true.
My other latest old dude obsession would be my lawn and gardens. I get great pleasure in growing vegetables and plants and manicuring my yard. Back in the day, I hated even cutting the grass. Today, once I start pulling weeds, you won’t see me back inside until dinner time. Teen Tim says “no bueno.”
Over the years, many of my interests and things that make me happy have changed. While I may always be Old Dude Rathz to my young self, at least I’ve got a big nerdy smile on my face.
The moral of the story is … You’re never going to be able to live up to your younger self’s cool standards, so you might as well play the role. Now, get off my lawn!!!
Tim Rathz can be reached at 40somethinginfishers@gmail.com. Follow on Facebook or Instagram.
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