Have you ever been so angry because of an injustice that you wanted to say something you knew you would regret? Have you watched someone you love being hurt by the actions of others? Me too.
This is where my journaling comes in. Writing my feelings in a journal is my therapy. Then I pray and search the scriptures. I am often amazed at how the scriptures speak to my emotions.
This week, while fighting the urge to use my keyboard to voice my not-so-happy opinion, I opened my Bible to the Psalms. It is my go-to book in the Old Testament when I am feeling emotional. Happy. Sad. Fit to be tied. In a tizzy. You get the idea.
I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken. Psalm 62:1 NLT
It was like a voice from Heaven saying, “See, Janet, I got this!” I may not understand the behind-the-scenes working of God, but when I read scripture that speaks to my heart, I can’t help but do the Happy Day Hallelujah Dance.
I underlined the scripture in my Bible. Then I put the date beside it and scribbled a note of what was going on at the time. My Bible has become a sort of diary/journal. I’ve done this for over 25 years.
I’ve actually worn out one Bible. Many pages are no longer bound to the binding. The book of Ruth was cut out when my granddaughter, Alecksa, got hold of the scissors when she was three. She is now 26.
Photo provided by Janet Hart Leonard
Some may look at that tattered, pitiful-looking Bible and want to toss it, but to me it is a treasure. It has a story to tell. I hope my daughter, Emily, finds it after my earthly departure and takes the time to look through it. It’s my story, a story of pain that led to redemption. It’s the history of my spiritual journey and how God held my pen as He wrote my story.
I am in awe of how scripture is so relevant today, all those many years after it was written. I’m even more in awe of how God directs my heart to find just the verses I need to read. Don’t ever tell me that God isn’t in the details.
This week, as I read through Psalm 62, I got to the part that talks about the enemy, a.k.a. satan, trying to topple me. It said that my enemy sees me as a broken-down wall or a tottering fence. The enemy uses others to wear me down, get me angrier than an old wet hen, and have the desire to jerk a knot in someone’s tail.
BUT … oh, how I love the word, but!
Verse 7 says, My victory and honor come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.
While reading Psalm 62, I envisioned the enemy holding a large mallet, with me as the little mole in Whack-a-Mole. In many ways, he is trying to bring issues into my life and the lives of those I care about. The enemy seeks to wear me down and lead me into the valley of discouragement. Nope, not going there. Ain’t going to happen. Whack! He missed me, again!
Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. Vs 5
It isn’t easy to wait quietly. I want to see justice … now. This week, it took a few days to settle down. I needed time to ponder over the scriptures and pray.
As I am writing this, I remember a song by Phil Wickham. I open up YouTube and listen to “The Battle Belongs to You” …
“So, when I fight, I’ll fight on my knees, with my hands lifted high / Oh, God, the battle belongs to you.”
Again, you can’t tell me that God isn’t in the details. I have the scripture and the song to prove it.
You might notice that I do not capitalize satan. Grammarly tells me I should do so, but I’m not giving the enemy any recognition or power.
I’m just sitting here quietly waiting for the victory. I let my loved ones know that we will see it, and God will get the Glory … my Bible tells me so.
Janet Hart Leonard can be contacted at janethartleonard@gmail.com or followed on Facebook or Instagram (@janethartleonard). Visit janethartleonard.com.
Amen