By JANET HART LEONARD
From the Hart
“Not my circus, not my monkeys”
As I read the sign, I am quite glad I am not drinking anything as it would have probably spewed out of my mouth. Talk about a timely reminder. I was just asked to join a circus.
Actually, I am asked to give my opinion. I am not personally involved in the situation. I know only one side of the situation. You know the old saying, there are two sides to every story. Sometimes my opinion comes out of my mouth faster than I can process my thoughts. That is not a good thing.
When I get involved in a situation that does not affect me or my family or close friends, I am taking away time, energy and emotions that might be needed by my monkeys.
In my older and maybe a bit wiser years, whenever a ringmaster tries to entice me into their circus, I remind myself of the possible cost. I look closely and prayerfully at the rings of the circus I have been invited to join.
My two cents’ worth can be costly. I’ve had my advice used in an argument. “Well, Janet said …”
I then find myself defending what I said. I then realize I did not have the whole story. As my words have gone from ring to ring to ring, they sound nothing like what I said. Remember the not-so-fun children’s game of telephone where you whisper into someone’s ear and by the time the fourth or fifth person repeats it, it sounds nothing like what you said? Adults play that game as well.
I’m trying to be the nice lady and all of a sudden, I’m the evil one. I become the victim of an angry monkey that bites with its words.
So, here’s the thing. We all have our own circus. We all have our own monkeys.
Every family (a.k.a. circus) has a bit of dysfunction in their functional family. Read that again. Social media glamorizes and photoshops all relationships. It’s so easy to fall into the ring of comparison and envy. Trust me when I say we all have out-of-control monkeys in our circus.
I try to stay in my own circus and love my own monkeys. A long time ago I gave up trying to control them. Sometimes, I’m just the little old lady hanging on the trapeze … just a swingin’ and watching the chaos below.
It was a lot easier when my monkeys were little and there were only two of them to keep inside one ring. Lord have mercy, they are grown and have multiplied and added lots more monkeys to our circus. We have expanded beyond three rings.
Sometimes I feel like a mama herding her monkeys. I get one tucked back into my safety net and another one jumps out. There is always that one for which my worry bucket is filled to the rim. If they only knew.
I have learned to just swing on my trapeze and pray I don’t fall off and they don’t stray too far from me or the way they should be going.
Sometimes you just have to leave the circus of others alone and abstain from petting and getting involved with their monkeys. In other words, mind your own monkeys.