Sandwiched
I’ll never forget the fear, exhaustion, relief and anxiety I felt when we moved my mother to assisted living almost two years ago. My fear came from wondering if we had chosen the right place, one that would take good care of her. My exhaustion – and those of my siblings – was the result of all that was involved in the transition, including final doctor visits, scrambling to get her admitted quickly, packing up what we hoped would be all she would need from 2 ½ hours away in Mishawaka, and more.
I remember finally going into my boss’s office at the time with my eye twitching severely, as it had been doing almost constantly for 24 hours, and saying “I just can’t take it anymore … may I please have tomorrow morning off to get some sleep?” She kindly granted my request and I remember sleeping 12+ hours.
The relief came eventually from having God answer my No. 1 prayer at the time, which had been “Lord, please keep my mama safe.” Mom had experienced some falls through the years living alone and my biggest fear was that she would fall again and never recover. Knowing she’d be watched over constantly at a good facility released that frequent tightness in my chest.
Finally, the anxiety came weeks later after Mom was settled in. Just like when you send a child to college, I had concerns and questions. My first question was “Will she eat?” Mom had lost a lot of weight in 2016 and I was nervous the trend would continue. Thankfully, she maintained her weight and it has stayed steady ever since.
My second concern was “Will she make friends?” Mom had never lived anywhere but St. Joseph County, Indiana. She’s always been a friendly person, but not someone who has a lot of friends. Instead, she’s always had a few close ones. My heart sank at first when she lived at the facility because she wasn’t connecting with anyone and was often eating alone in the dining room.
Soon, however, Mom became good friends with her next-door neighbor, Betty, and now she has her “dinner gang” that she regularly sits with. Whew!
My last question was “Will she get involved in activities?” Much like how getting involved in clubs and groups makes a kid’s college experience richer, I knew becoming a part of an activity would make Mom’s living arrangement brighter.
At first, she only ventured out of her room to see musical performers. It was a start, but it only happened once a week or so. I prayed she would find her niche.
Imagine my delight a few weeks ago when she casually mentioned that she had joined the facility’s choir! Mom’s has always had a beautiful voice. Much to her surprise, I practically squealed at the news.
Her first concert is either Dec. 14 or 15. And, just like a big event involving one of my children, you can bet that I’ll be right there for her – front and center!