It is so easy to take so many things for granted and then one day . . . they are gone. During my life, I was athletic and an A student. I was blessed with a fantastic athletic ability, and I was fortunate to have a decent brain; however, I primarily studied a lot to help my brain. I was fortunate to play on three state championship teams in high school — two in golf and one in basketball.
I was fortunate to take those skills to college and played two sports — basketball for two years and golf for four years. When I was in college, I also double majored in Accounting and Finance at Indiana University and still carried a 3.6 GPA.
Now I am in the real world and due to cancer, I am getting a first-hand opportunity to really appreciate just how fortunate it is to be healthy. We all take the simple things for granted — at least I did. That all changes when you suddenly have to “fight for the basic fundamentals”.
The positive thing about my disease is that I truly believe that meds are being made on a daily basis that will help me live for a good amount of time. The biggest issue with these meds is that they all seem to come with plenty of side effects . . . In my opinion, that is the true battle. I take a chemo pill on a daily basis that keeps my tumors from growing. However, it causes memory loss, dry skin, forgetfulness, and occasional acne. The true battle and frustration is memory loss.
This week has been a prime example. I have always kept my stuff organized and paid bills on a timely basis. However, I had some medical bills and insurance bills that are not that simple. The medical bills did not end up being terribly difficult because the person I called was from the hospital and they said let’s get on a three-way call with the insurance company and we can figure out the issue. This person has no idea just how helpful it is to have all the parties on the line at the same time — something I greatly appreciate. Next up was my insurance bill. Evidently I also paid this bill. The next day I am checking all my stuff again to make sure I paid all of it. My crazy brain has zero memory that I paid it the previous day. I call the insurance company and starting going into details — the lady very nicely says, “Yes, we talked yesterday and you paid us.” Fortunately, it was a very honest person as I have no memory of paying this bill.
This is incredibly frustrating. Since I have had to take chemotherapy on a regular basis, I have put myself through memory training on a couple of occasions. It is like putting yourself back in school. Unfortunately if you do not practice the “tricks” on a regular basis, you “lose it”. Both times that I buried myself into the training — I did it so that I could give speeches. Tomorrow I am going to re-start the training. It is like a class that I have to continually “retake”. However, it gives me the confidence and tricks I need to fight Stage 4 Cancer and to deal with the side effects of memory loss. This is the biggest battle that I have ever fought, but I will continually work on my skills so that I can endure this disease and maintain a “normal” life. I feel like my “athletic background” and huge faith have prepared me for this endeavor! Every day is a gift!