My mom loved people well. I watched her.
When I was a child, my mother would place her pointer finger sideways against her lips to tell me I needed to be quiet and listen. We were in church, and the preacher said something she thought I needed to hear.
Sitting in the designated wooden church pew about halfway back on the organ side of the sanctuary at the little church on the corner of Tenth and Grant streets was our sacred place whenever the church doors were open. I’m not sure why church people always seem to have a particular pew they sit in, but they do.
What my mother never realized is that I learned more about how to treat people from her than the preacher in the pulpit. I learned from her example.
In my mother’s quiet ways, the greatest sermons were preached.
Mom never yelled to get her point across. Her golden nuggets of wisdom were quietly lived out in everyday moments.
I remember her saying, “People may not treat you rightly, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t treat them rightly.”
Mom didn’t have a mean bone in her body.
Janet learned from her mother that wisdom counts far more than status. Living with caring and kindness matters most. (Photo provided)
If you read my book, When the Hart Speaks, you know she would never say bad things about anyone. She would say that they were “funny-turned.” I knew what that meant. She thought they were either mean or odd. I could tell the difference by how she moved her head and shoulders when she said funny-turned. She would shake her head if they were mean and shrug her shoulders if they were odd. Mom was kind to mean people. She was caring to odd people.
I’ve come to realize that some people will never be quiet and listen. They already know it all … or so they think.
Some people will never be wrong … or so they think. I find this to be sad.
Some people think whoever screams the loudest will be listened to the most. Come at me with a loud voice, and while I know I can’t turn your volume down, I can turn you off. Do you know what I do when someone speaks softly? I lean in and listen.
Mom would say that people have a right to their opinion, but they don’t have the right to force it upon you. “Think for yourself, Janet Kay. A large bank account or position does not make anyone smarter or better than you.” If your gut tells you someone is wrong, you need to pay attention to your gut.
I was taught that you can tell a lot about someone by how they treat others. Listen and watch how someone speaks to those serving them. Anyone who treats someone as “less than” is not someone you want to be like or hang out with.
Mom would use the expression, “Pretty is as pretty does.” She would often say, “Don’t be ugly.” I knew what they both meant. I sure never want to be known as ugly-turned. Yes, that’s an Audreyism.
My mother may have only had an eighth-grade education, but she could teach and preach. She did it quietly after we left the church pew.
She may not have said these exact words, but what she taught me was that God does not call me to a position of importance but to a posture of obedience. It is through my obedience to scripture that I will make a difference. If my heart does not grasp what scripture says, my mind will not comprehend it. My actions will reflect my understanding of the scriptures.
My mother would say, “Janet Kay, if you don’t love people well, your words will not be listened to. You will sound like a noisy gong.”
My prayer is, “Please, Lord, help me not be funny-turned or sound like a noisy gong. Show me how to love well and to shhh when I need to listen. Help me remember that the greatest sermons are preached outside the church. Help me make my mother proud and let her know I listened well to her example.”
Mom taught me that people are watching and my life is a sermon; make it one people want to listen to and practice what the scripture says, “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39) … even if they are funny-turned.
Janet Hart Leonard can be contacted at janethartleonard@gmail.com or followed on Facebook or Instagram (@janethartleonard). Visit janethartleonard.com.
I absolutely love this. …probably because my own mother was much like yours. Wonderful example of someone who loved!! Some time we need to meet with Deb & share stories. I appreciate you so much!