Let them.

I never knew two words could be so powerful until I said and believed them.

Let them not like me.

Let them believe what they want about me.

Let them rant, rave, and complain about something they think I should have done or not done.

Let them judge me.

Let them blame me.

Let them try gaslighting me.

For years, I’ve carried the weight of anxiety over what people think of me. I’ve worn myself out trying to figure out why I felt such a need to be liked, accepted, and cared about.

When Sally Field accepted her Academy Award and told the audience, “You like me. You REALLY like me.” I knew how she felt.

We all have our relational weak spots. Now you know mine.

A few months ago, something was said to me that hurt me to the tenderest part of my heart, causing me many sleepless nights and more than a few tears. The person who said the hurtful words barely knew me. He wanted to believe what he thought was true. It wasn’t. I could say nothing to change his mind.

Some of you will not understand because you’ve never lived with this anxiety. Some of you are telling me to hurry and tell you what I found to help me because you need help, too.

In the late fall of 2024, I saw an ad to pre-order a book that Mel Robbins had written. It was The Let Them Theory, and its release was in January 2025. I read the description, quickly ordered it, and waited.

When it arrived on my doorstep, I had no idea I would be opening such a treasure chest of words my mind and heart needed. For three days, I sat in my reading chair with a highlighter. By the end of the third day, I closed the book and discarded my highlighter. Though the highlighter was dry, my eyes were wet with tears.

She, being Mel Robins, understood. She really understood.

As I turned each page, I felt as if I was in therapy. My eyes read the words, but my heart felt them.

For many years, I had allowed others’ opinions to control me. I made many decisions after asking, “What will people think?”

I gave away my power like Oprah Winfrey gave out cars at Christmas: “You get some power, and you get some power. Now, will you like me?”

I’ve come to realize I cannot control what anyone thinks about me.

I’ve been throwing away every hoop I’ve been handed to jump through.

I no longer wait for the opinions of others to validate my decisions. This is a big deal.

However, it goes beyond The Let Them Theory. Next, there is the Let Me aspect.

I cannot control people and their thoughts about me. I have to take responsibility for the life, relationships, and connections that are right for me. This is where peace is found.

When I say, “Let me,” I am taking responsibility for what I do next. I will have hard conversations. I will not waste my time debating insignificant issues.

I will be kind and considerate of others’ feelings but not at the expense of my peace. I should write “Let me” somewhere to see it daily.

The Let Me theory does not change how I treat others but how I treat myself. I will not explain my decisions unless I think it is truly necessary and only to those close to me.

If you read the cover of Mel Robbins’ book, you will see it says, A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can’t Stop Talking About. I don’t know about millions, but I do know about one. That one is me.

I should think about getting a tattoo on my wrist that says, Let Them. No, I won’t, because … what would people think? IYKYK.

Janet Hart Leonard can be contacted at janethartleonard@gmail.com or followed on Facebook or Instagram (@janethartleonard). Visit janethartleonard.com.