Sandwiched
There’s been a term that has exploded on the Internet over the past few years – the “mental load.”
If you happened to miss what millions of people have been talking about all over the world, the mental load, or mental labor, involves the many – and extremely varied – tasks that are involved in managing a household and/or workplace. Women carry this load more often than men, although believe me, men aren’t immune to it.
When I heard about the mental load, I was thrilled that someone had finally coined a phrase for what I had been carrying around ever since I became a working wife and mom. I once had a friend ask me years ago how I managed to do it all and I simply replied, “Thankfully I’m pretty organized.” I didn’t mind juggling everything and keeping on top of so many tasks day in and day out.
But then I entered the sandwich generation when I started taking care of my mother three years ago. It was like someone threw a bowling ball into my juggling act. I began to forget things. I felt like I neglected my family at times, then when I paid more attention to them, I felt like I was neglecting my mom. My work suffered. The scale of all my responsibilities got way off balance.
I knew something had to change, and in 2017 I saw a drawing by the French cartoonist Emma on the Internet highlighting the mental load. A light bulb went on over my head.
I started to make some changes in how I managed my mental labor thanks to various articles both in print and on the computer. However, I couldn’t find a guide or book covering such a timely topic, which surprised me.
Then that light bulb went on again. “Wait a minute – I could write one!” I thought. And so, almost exactly a year ago, I began the journey to create a self-help book called, aptly, Lighten Your Mental Load. My goal was to write something that would help millions of people find relief from this unrelenting mental labor to increase joy in their lives.
And, selfishly, I wanted to try out many of the practices that I researched and wrote about as I went along. Soon I began implementing changes both big and small. I used technology more often to help manage tasks. Alexa became my best friend.
Not everyone was exactly thrilled with my new way of doing things, especially when I began guiding my sons and husband to do a bit more around the house. But I became happier and now feel better than ever before about managing it all.
Want to learn how to lighten your own mental load in 2020? The paperback version of my book will be coming out in mid-January. Feel free to give me a holler at grantsavenue@gmail.com to learn more.
Lightening your mental load can be life-changing, especially in the sandwich generation. I hope you’ll add this goal to your new year’s resolutions!