Keeping my sense of humor

Middle age is such a strange time. I’ve written columns before about random aches and pains that happen out of nowhere. You know, the ones that come on for absolutely no reason you can think of.

But what about huge, distinct “eye floaters” that appear suddenly for no reason? Those are what hit me a week ago.

My husband John and I were enjoying a delightful date night last Friday. We were laughing and joking as we entered The Fashion Mall at Keystone to go see a movie. Once we got inside, I froze. I thought I was starting to have a migraine, which for me typically starts with an aura in my vision.

John asked me what was wrong, and I replied, “I thought I was starting to get a migraine … but it’s not an aura … it looks like a new eye floater.”

Eye floaters are common – they’re spots in your vision. In fact, I’ve had them since I was a little kid. To me, they usually look like bubbles strung together in various shapes. They come and go and are never the same.

This floater, however, was bizarre – it was large, distinct, and looked like … an upside-down sperm with a black dot in the middle. Cue the jokes. It was also just in my left eye.

Unlike my strings of bubbles, this sucker stayed in the same place and did not go away. I began to freak out, especially after a few stings of bubbles decided to join it. I even asked our friends from Our Gang on Saturday if they had ever experienced something like this. Half of the group nodded in understanding, the other half said, “What are eye floaters?” Sigh.

By Monday evening, I decided to get my eyes checked. I noticed that my vision was a bit hazy out of my left eye and that it hurt slightly when I woke up in the morning. I wondered if I had a retinal tear and if I would need laser surgery.

I saw Dr. Abby at MyEyeDr in Noblesville on Wednesday, and she put my fears to rest. Thankfully, I have a simple, common, broken blood vessel. And my new floaters will stick around but eventually get lower in my vision and I won’t notice them as much. Dr. Abby was glad that I came in, as near-sighted people like me are more prone to retinal tears and detachments.

She said I’d get used to it and that people often nickname their floaters to deal with them. I have given it a nickname to lighten things up a bit, but you don’t want to know what it is. You could say that I’m keeping my sense of … humor. I’ll give you a little bit of time to figure out why that’s funny, or why I think that’s funny.

I was so relieved that I went to see Dr. Abby – who, by the way, is my favorite eye doctor ever. On a serious note – our eyes are so precious. It was wise for me to be cautious and get checked out. Readers, don’t hesitate to see your eye doctor if something you’ve never experienced before happens with your vision.

Still not sure about why I think keeping my sense of humor for this situation is funny? Humor is also a term for vitreous and aqueous fluid in the eye.

Yes, I’m a nerd.

I’ll continue to hold onto both types of humor in the months to come. Thank you, Dr. Abby, for your kindness, help, and yes, laughter!

Amy Shankland is a writer and fundraising professional living in Noblesville with her husband John, two sons, two dogs, and a cat. You can reach her via email at amys@greenavenue.info.