Keeping civility top of mind

By TIFFANIE DITLEVSON
Guest Columnist

Election season begins on Monday, Oct. 7 (and voter registration ends on Oct. 7, so register now at indianavoters.in.gov) and early voting begins at the Hamilton County 4-H Fairgrounds and the Hamilton County Courthouse.

As a lead up to actually casting votes, Fishers residents are forced to navigate a landscape peppered with candidate signs and TV commercials during our favorite shows and sporting events. Sadly, we sit in the audience of social media vitriol and we will endure this pain until the 5th of November.

What will the 6th of November feel like for our community? A simple answer to this question depends on the level of civility we embrace and demonstrate as we interact with friends, neighbors, and people with which we disagree. Decades ago, politics, religion, and sexuality were topics we never discussed publicly. Now, in 2024, these topics are worn on our sleeves and are frequent topics of conversation.

First and foremost, I encourage you to fully educate yourself on topics of interest to you, namely, the platform differences of respective parties, platforms, and organizations. Learn the implications of various policies to your local community, state and nation. If the internet is your primary source of information, don’t be afraid to seek information from various sources to grow your perspective and confidence in discussing with others, if so desired. If researching for your own edification, just imagine the level of accomplishment and self-confidence you’ll gain.

As the temperature heats up, I want to share some strategies I use on the weekly Facebook show, Mouthwash Talk Show, which presents balanced, civil political discussion (the cast includes a Libertarian, Democrat, and Republican panelists). More importantly, I employ the same tactics to maintain civility when I chat with my dad because he and I are DIAMETRICALLY opposed on many political issues. To be fair, I’m unsure if he would have cast a vote for me in my 2023 run for Fishers City Council, yet I know he loves me (deep, deep down inside).

Here are some strategies for maintaining civility while discussing politics in such divisive times. Most importantly, remember, these conversations are best had in the context of friendship and mutual respect.

1. Focus on issues, not individuals

Center discussions on policies and their impacts, rather than attacking or defending personalities. Talk about specific proposals or plans, like healthcare, economy, or foreign policy, and the outcomes you care about.

2. Practice active listening

Listen to the other person without interrupting. Understand their perspective before responding. This shows respect and reduces the chances of escalating the conversation.

3. Avoid personal insults

It’s easy for political discussions to turn into personal attacks. Stay focused on facts, logic, and data. Keep the tone respectful, even if you strongly disagree.

4. Use “I” statements

Frame your points by saying, “I think…” or “I feel…” rather than accusatory “You are wrong because…” statements. This helps frame the conversation as your opinion, rather than an attack.

5. Acknowledge valid points

If someone you’re talking to makes a good point, acknowledge it, even if you don’t agree with the rest of their argument. This fosters a sense of mutual respect.

6. Set boundaries

If a discussion starts becoming too heated or disrespectful, it’s okay to pause or walk away. It’s better to disengage than to escalate the argument.

7. Find common ground

Identify shared values or goals, such as a desire for a strong economy or a safe community, even if you disagree on the methods to achieve them. This can diffuse tension and show that you’re working toward mutual goals.

8. Be open to learning

Approach political conversations with a mindset of curiosity. Be willing to learn from others, even those who think differently from you. This encourages a more civil and thoughtful exchange.

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By focusing on respectful dialogue, avoiding inflammatory rhetoric, and seeking to understand opposing views, you can maintain civility, even in the most politically charged conversations. Let’s face it, we all have to get along on Nov. 6, and I really want to stay on Santa’s Good Girl List.

Tiffanie Ditlevson is a realtor, veteran, and mom who serves as an At-Large member of the Fishers City Council. Email her at tiffanie.ditlevson@talktotucker.com.