From the Heart
It was last Friday and I was on my way to work but turned onto 146th Street instead of 126th. I needed to get to my mother ASAP.
Her voice was cracking as she whispered into the phone, “Janet, I think the good Lord is calling me home.”
I was not prepared to hear those words. I knew the broken rib, with all the pain and her not eating due to the nausea from the pain medication, had weakened her.
I know she is 93 … but.
She looked so frail when I got to her bedside. The concern on the faces of the nurses told me a lot.
She whispered for me to call my daughter, Emily, who lives in Tampa. She took the phone from me and told her, “Emily, I think this is it. I need you to come home.”
Mom and I spent the next hour talking about my dad and all the memories we had over the 64 years I had shared with them. She said she would be giving him a big hug from me. She had missed him all these soon to be 14 years since he passed.
We had the opportunity to share our hearts. As sad as it was, it was a beautiful tender moment. We left no words unsaid. We left no feelings uncommunicated.
Emily had called my daughter-in-law, Angie. She brought my granddaughter, Abby, with her. Angie confirmed that Grandma was not doing well.
Emily would be on a plane in a few hours.
Within three hours of the call with my mother, we had a family reunion. My kids, grandkids, Mom’s sister, several cousins and friends who are like family … all showed up.
Hospice was called. Conversations were had that I never wanted to have.
Mom had the opportunity to tell everyone how she felt.
At one point she asked everyone to gather around her bed. She looked around the room and said, “I want you all to know I love you and I have one thing to ask of all of you, to ‘be nice’ to one another.”
That was always something that Mom had told me, time and time again, no matter where I was going: “Janet, be nice.” It was her way of saying that I should always be kind and considerate and do right by others. It was her way of leaving a legacy … a very endearing legacy.
Mom confirmed what she wanted done for her funeral. Years ago, she had Emily write down her wishes. Who would speak, who would sing, what she would wear. Even who she wanted to do her hair.
We took turns sitting by her side throughout the day and into the night.
At midnight my son, Brandon, looked at me and said, “Mom, you are looking old … go home.” He spent the night.
On Saturday morning, Mom woke up and looked around the room and then said to Emily, “Where am I?”
Emily asked her where she thought she was. Mom smiled and said, “Well, I didn’t expect to be here.” They both laughed.
Mom then asked Emily, “So what was all that talk about me dying?” Emily just shook her head. “Grandma, you said that God must be taking you home.”
It’s been quite the week.
Emily has now flown back to Tampa. Mom has had the opportunity to tell everyone what is on her heart. She knows the sand continues to empty from the top of her hourglass even more quickly.
For the time being, the good Lord seems to have hit the “Pause” button. It is quite the emotional rollercoaster.
Mom is gaining strength. She is smiling and is eating pork rinds. Her heart is clear. She has given us our marching orders to BE NICE.
This is a hard journey we are on. It’s like a long refrain of the old gospel song, “I will meet you in the morning, over there.” The moments are ever so precious.
Someday there will be calls that I don’t want to make, but until then, I will continue to enjoy my time with her … and buy more pork rinds.