I’ve become my mother

Simmer down! Don’t get yourself in such a dither!

I’ve heard my mother say both of those phrases. Her voice, as well as her sayings, had a way of calming me down.

She would also say, “Holler if you need me.” Sadly, she can’t hear me hollering from her home in Heaven. I miss her and her voice.

There are moments when someone gets under my skin, and I want to beat the tar out of them or at least jerk a knot in their tail.

Lord, have mercy! I’ve become my mother.

The words I find coming from my mouth are those of my mother and her sisters. There is a lot of wisdom that comes from those sayings.

Madder than an old wet hen. Oh, yes, I’ve been that angry. Usually, it’s because someone has done my family or a friend dirty. Things done to me, I can, more often than not, shrug off and consider the source.

Thou shalt not be ugly was one of Mom’s commandments. It had nothing to do with looks but with actions. More mothers should have had that as a commandment, as we sure have a heap of ugly actions going on these days.

Southern expressions are a language of their own. Most are pretty endearing. Growing up, I heard them so often that they became a part of my vocabulary and speech.

I knew if someone “took to the bed,” they were very sick or tired.

“Over yonder” meant close by but not in any exact location. “Fixin’ to” meant getting ready to start.

More and more, I hear Southern sayings coming from my mouth, and they hug my heart.

Sometimes, I find myself explaining what I am saying to my husband as he was raised in western Indiana, and they did not speak with the same expressions as my southern Kentucky-raised parents.

As Mom would say, some things do get my panties in a bunch. I don’t understand Daylight Saving Time. (Yes, it’s that time of year.) You can explain why we do it, but I can tell you this … there is no rhyme or reason to hold so many people hostage to such misery. Understand my thoughts? Yes, I thought so. No one ever said, “Happy Fall Back Day!”

Sometimes, I go to a Southern State of Mind (thank you, Darius Rucker), and I hear my mother’s voice and reflect on the wisdom she was still sharing at 94 before she passed. Her nurses would tell me that they would visit her room to check on her, but the truth was she always made them feel better whenever they had a rough day. There were lots of them during the Twilight Zone of COVID.

Mom would remind me that getting upset over something would waste both time and energy. Would it matter in five years? That was how she weighed the reasoning of how upset I should be. She might not have always taken her words to heart.

When I was a little girl going to a friend’s house to play, she always said, “Now, Janet Kay, you be nice.” I knew everything that meant. Be kind. Mind your manners. Don’t fight over toys. Don’t make any messes. Be respectful to their parents. “Be Nice” covered a lot of dos and don’ts.

In some ways, saying what Mom used to say is a bit like hollering because I need her. Those words are like a hug to my heart; I know where that hug comes from.

Thanks, Mom, for your words of wisdom and for teaching me your Southern expressions. They are still being used today, as I find myself saying … Good Lord, I’ve become my mother.

Janet Hart Leonard can be contacted at janethartleonard@gmail.com or followed on Facebook or Instagram (@janethartleonard). Visit janethartleonard.com.