Given my column’s title, I thought this week’s topic was a “perfect” match. My husband John may be surprised to read this, but at this stage in life, I’ve completely accepted the fact that our home will never be perfect. And I love it.
When I was younger, I fretted and stressed over every little thing with my house. If I noticed a cobweb in the corner of the living room, I felt defeated. I was always picking up and putting things away from morning until bedtime. In fact, it’s almost unconscious now.
It all relates to being Highly Sensitive. Highly Sensitive people, in general, don’t do well with clutter surrounding them. I also grew up in an almost spotless home.
If you visit us now, you’d see some whimsical, “gently used” décor on the outside with a few perennials. My husband and son are good about keeping up with mowing, trimming, and edging, although that sometimes gets delayed on occasion when they’re both working a weekend.
After stepping inside – always through our back door if you’re a friend or family member – you’ll invariably see our pile of shoes all over the laundry room rug. When my sons’ friends visit, the shoes often erupt onto the linoleum.
You will probably observe I do still keep our home fairly free of clutter with some dated stuff throughout. It’s an old Victorian workers cottage and we’re not swimming in money, so as they say, it is what it is!
You’ll also see the dry erase boards on the fridge and inside the desk in the dining room filled with various drawings of cartoon and other characters. This tradition started with my sons’ friends a few years ago.
After I erased one of the boards one time to have more room to list the leftovers inside the fridge, Jacob’s friend Colton’s face fell when he visited. It was like someone struck him in the heart. I laughed and told him I’d never do it again.
I rotate cleaning duties from week to week, which means my house is rarely cleaned from top to bottom and spotless all at once. You’ll probably notice an occasional cat hair-filled dust bunny floating by.
It hit me a few years ago that if my home were perfectly clean and sparkling, that would mean I’d be living here all alone. No husband, no pets, no son/recent college graduate and his friends, and only the occasional visitor. It would be mostly quiet without conversation or laughter. No, thank you!
So, empty nesters, please forget about perfection. Pick your battles (that cobweb can stay for a bit longer – who even sees it anyway?) Embrace the goofy characters scrawled across your dry erase boards, create a path through those shoes. Imperfect homes are truly the best, and they’re more fun!
Amy Shankland is a writer and fundraising professional living in Noblesville with her husband John, two sons, two dogs, and a cat. You can reach her via email at amys@greenavenue.info.