By JANET HART LEONARD
From the Heart
I got the invitation. No way. Not going there.
Oh, the choices I must make. Some of them involve reacting, responding or ignoring someone. Someone wants to engage with me in a discussion that, I know, will not end well.
I admit, when I was younger, I did more reacting. Perhaps wisdom has led me to a place of responding more and reacting less.
Even more so, I have learned to ignore, walk away from and bite my tongue when someone invites me into an argument.
People can be quite creative with their invitation to argue.
They ask my opinion. They know my opinion. I know their opinion is different from mine. They are ready to rumble. I am not.
They start a conversation with, “Well you know…” Even their voice tells me we are going to a place in the conversation that I do not want to go.
“Maturity is when you keep your mouth shut when you want to say something mean to someone. Only people who are at peace with themselves can do this.”
– Author unknown
It is definitely difficult to bite my tongue when someone pushes my aggravation button. They know what they are doing. Chances are they have laid awake preparing their speech as if they were in a courtroom trying to defend their position. They hope to surprise me and leave me grasping for a defense.
I have been blindsided by remarks. My first thought was to react. It took every bit of self-control to not react with anger and respond with angry words.
My mother always taught me to kill them with kindness. Sometimes that is easier said than done. I do my best to act like it’s no big deal when they try to get my goat. “Leave my goat alone!”
There is nothing more controlled than a tongue that refuses to speak or teeth that don’t take the bite. Angry people do their best to control by aggravation.
Angry people are most frustrated when they cannot get you to react or respond in anger. Walking away pretty much tells them … well, words I do not say or write.
I would rather regret not saying something I should have said than regretting what I did say.
Wisdom is knowing what to say and if you should say it.
I am braver. I am stronger. I hope I am wiser. I have learned when not to react, how to respond, and I know the peace and the joy of walking away. I don’t have to accept the invitation.
Invitation RSVP … not attending. Boy, does that feel good to say.