The Pope recently issued a paper on changes in the Catholic Church concerning divorce.
Our office frequently has requests for a “church divorce” or encounters a client who has questions concerning the Bible’s view of divorce. The typical situation in our office is where an individual is married to an alcoholic or is one who is physically abusive. The victim spouse is concerned about the biblical ramifications of filing for divorce. Almost all cite to Matthew 19:6, which indicates divorce is not preferred and appears to be permitted only for sexual immorality.
We counsel them that Paul, in 1 Corinthians 7:15, also permits a spouse to be free from bondage if the unbelieving spouse departs. In Romans 7:2 the spouse is also free from marriage bonds if the other spouse dies.
To have a “church divorce,” or one acceptable to God, a person may, but need not, divorce for a permissible biblical reason: (1) sexual immorality; (2) departure of an unbelieving spouse; or (3) death of the spouse.
“Death,” in biblical terms, can refer to spiritual death as well as physical death. How does spiritual death occur? A spouse should follow the mandates of Matthew 5 and Matthew 18. These passages provide a process to follow when you sin against someone or someone else sins against you.
For example, if your spouse sins against you, Matthew 18:15 directs you to go and tell your spouse’s fault to them privately. (Spouse, your continued excessive drinking is unacceptable.) If the spouse does not hear, take one or two witnesses and repeat. Sometimes this is referred to as an intervention. (The spouse is told that continued excessive drinking is unacceptable and solutions are sought.) If the spouse refuses to listen to the witnesses, take them before the church. If the spouse refuses to hear the church, let your spouse be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.
God gives everyone a choice. He set up the secular government and court system (Romans 13:1) so that when both sides cannot agree to resolve problems in the church under biblical principles – the preferred method – they have a choice to do so in another forum rather than resort to the law of the jungle.
In the case of the abusive or alcoholic spouse, if the spouse refuses to listen to the church, they are excommunicated in one last attempt to bring them back to the faith. If they fail to return to the faith, it could be considered that they are spiritually dead. The victim spouse can proceed with a divorce in secular courts, having satisfied biblical requirements to be free of the marriage covenant with God.
We work with each individual’s home church to make sure this procedure is consistent with their theology and have found that many local churches accept and welcome the above stated procedure. When both parties are willing to submit to the church’s authority under biblical guidelines, the success rate in preventing divorce is astonishingly good, which is the ultimate goal.
Educational material and not legal advice, written by the team at Adler attorneys. Email andrea@noblesvilleattorney.com with questions or comments.