We’re continuing to explore reasons for our increased mental labor this week. Last week I ended my column talking about how celebrations, though fun, can add to our mental load.
Of course, we also have holidays, another category of celebrations. This is where I think the mental load often goes into overdrive. I know women who stay up until 2 o’clock in the morning getting ready to host Christmas parties. A good friend of mine takes three days to unload and put up her Christmas decorations – and these are just indoor ones.
The Christmas card process no longer involves simply buying boxes of cards from the store, then signing, addressing, and mailing them. Now a lot of us schedule a session with a professional photographer to get the perfect family photo, look through every proof to find the best picture, and finally design a card online.
I remember my mother baking maybe three or four types of Christmas cookies every year. And keep in mind, she was a stay-at-home mom. Now I see people making six or more kinds of cookies. I know a lot of people love baking, me included, but others don’t like it very much. Yet they still feel the pressure of the season to bake like crazy and work to have a Christmas like what you see in magazines.
Not everyone celebrates Christmas, of course, but there are other holidays that can create just as much pressure. Halloween decorations used to involve some carved jack-o’-lanterns and maybe a cute spooky candy dish or two. Now you can’t walk into any big box hardware store in August without seeing aisles and aisles of indoor and outdoor decorations.
These decorations range from two inches high to 10 feet tall and go from cute to downright scary or horrible. Some people in my neighborhood put out so many decorations starting in late September that you can barely see their grass or landscaping.
When I was a child, poking some holes in an old sheet worked great to create a ghost costume. If you had anything more elaborate than that, you often wore that costume two, three, or four more times in future years. And it wasn’t a big deal because that’s what everybody else did.
Now, however, things are more complicated. Do you go to the party store and buy a costume or order one online? Do you know anyone who sews these days that can make you or your child something unique? How can you give your child a totally different, better costume than last year?
I could go on and on, since we have so many holidays, but you get the point. Thanks to the pressure from Pinterest, various magazines, numerous home and garden television shows, and our own neighbors, our holiday celebrations have gone from enjoying simple pleasures to working to plan over the top affairs that involve a lot more time, creativity, and money.
I do understand that some people love to go all out each season and it makes them very happy. That’s terrific, and I enjoy seeing their creations. But others feel like they must do it all … whether they like it or not.
Amy Shankland is a writer and fundraising professional living in Noblesville with her husband John, two sons, two dogs and a cat. You can reach her via email at amys@greenavenue.info.