By AMY SHANKLAND
Sandwiched
I don’t often write about the other piece of “bread” in the sandwich generation – children. As a reminder, the definition of a sandwich generation member is someone who is taking care of their elderly parents and children at the same time.
I’m fortunate that my boys, Jonathon and Jacob, were pre-teens when I began to take care of my mother. I also had and continue to have the support of my husband John. So when I was driving frequently up to Mishawaka (near South Bend) years ago, John and the boys were generally okay without me.
Even back in those days, I worked with my sons to help them get on the road to adulthood. They actually began learning about how to manage their money in elementary school. They had envelopes for spending, saving, and donating to charity.
Of course, they both had chores to do around the house. And once they turned 16, my husband and I told them that allowance time was over and it was time to find a part-time job. When they got their first W-2s, I said we’d sit down and work on their taxes together.
We just did that very task recently when they were off for spring break from college. Oh, how I envied the ease of it all. I remember those simple returns when I was in my early twenties!
Jacob lives in a house with some friends near Ball State, while Jonathon lives with his best friend in Castleton to be closer to IUPUI. While we contribute money to their accounts for rent and utilities each month, they continue to work to pay for some things as well. They pay all their own bills now.
I also recently sat down with Jacob to remind him about how to budget monthly expenses. He’s taking a course at Ball State to help with finances, while Jonathon did the same in high school.
This is certainly not exciting stuff, but I’m sharing this as a reminder of how important it is to get children on the road to “adulting” even when they’re fairly young. It’s so easy as parents to want to do everything for our kids, but of course this sets them up for failure later in life. We have to gradually, little by little, let go of things and allow them to learn … even when they screw up.
John and I hope that these lessons will help them avoid some of the costly financial issues he and I encountered years ago. While we certainly love our parents, none of them taught us about how to handle money. We had to learn things the hard way.
Let’s face it – money affects everything in life. It’s important to help our children be confident with it so they can wisely spend, save, and donate to charity.