By JANET HART LEONARD
From the Hart
I’m not okay today.
Last night I sent my daughter, Emily, a text. “Please give Aiden and Leah a hug from Grandma.”
My heart feels an empty ache. I want to wrap them in my arms and keep them safe. Aiden is 12. Leah is 9. They live in a very different world from the one in which I grew up.
On Tuesday morning, 19 families sent their kids to school. They will never walk back through the door of their home. They will never be tucked into bed. Never.
Nineteen little kids waited anxiously for the bell to ring to go home. I’m sure they were thinking about how school would soon be out for the summer. Summer, a time of bike rides and snow cones and sunburns and sleeping late and late-night family movies.
Instead, they heard bullets being shot at them and they heard screams. They saw a monster. They felt unimaginable fear.
As I write this, on Wednesday morning, there are parents waking up to a nightmare, that is if they slept at all. They take clothes out of the dryer; clothes that will never be worn again. They find chocolate milk in the refrigerator. They pour it down the drain. They step on a loose Lego. The pain in their foot cannot compare to the pain in their heart.
My heart cannot fathom the pain of losing a child, even more so to a senseless act of violence. These were LITTLE KIDS!
Our world is broken. I cannot wrap my mind around the evil that has invaded it. What are the answers? Don’t talk to me about politics and laws and rights. While arguments are being fought in the aisles of grocery stores and churches and Congress, little kids are dying in the classroom. All this rhetoric is not solving the problem. When will the death of little kids matter enough to do something?
Four years ago, this week, we had a school shooting here in Noblesville. You know, the town that is located in the middle of the security of the Midwest. Things like that were not supposed to happen here. But it did.
Mental health issues are running rampant. AND … so is just plain meanness.
Who is teaching our kids compassion, empathy, sympathy and just plain and simple right from wrong? Why are these shooters so angry? What has made them so mean?
Meanness has found its way into the hearts and minds of these shooters.
I know I’m old and I have my opinions and you can argue with me all you want.
Kids are sitting in their rooms playing video games that teach them to kill and be rewarded, kill more and be rewarded more. Are they not being desensitized to death? They chat with a stranger who cheers them on to more killings … and then a virtual shove leads them to purchase an assault rifle when they turn 18. They need a bigger high. They are angry. Someone told them “no.” They buy more ammunition. Why does an 18-year-old need an AR? Why does anyone need an AR? I was raised around guns for hunting. I am not antigun, but an AR?
Okay, I’m treading on the dangerous territory of public opinion. But DANG IT! That could have been my grandchild in that school. That could have been my daughter-in-law who is a teacher.
I was sad when I started typing this column and now, I am angry!
While we are passing around the mashed potatoes at the dinner table (Remember that? The family dinner table?) what are we teaching our children? What are they hearing and seeing in our lives?
Are sympathy and compassion and kindness and caring and doing the right thing all things of the past? I hope not. I surely to goodness hope not.
As I said, you can disagree with me all you want. I just hope while we are all arguing there are no more funerals for parents to plan.
I need to text Emily and tell her to give Aiden and Leah another hug. The world needs more hugs.
I’m still not okay.
Janet Hart Leonard can be contacted at janethartleonard@gmail.com or followed on Facebook or Instagram (@janethartleonard). Visit janethartleonard.com.