Facing the worst in the Sandwich Generation . . . the “C” word

By AMY SHANKLAND

Sandwiched

Long time readers may have noticed that my column wasn’t printed a couple of times over the last two months. It turns out that finding nail polish all over my mom’s things wasn’t our only surprise after her facility opened up the end of February. Mom has advanced breast cancer that has spread to her lymph nodes.

Her world and that of our entire family has been turned upside down with this news, to say the least. The past eight weeks have been filled with one doctor or lab visit after another. It’s been extremely hard on Mom – not just with the news but with having to be constantly shuttled around. Mom is almost 89 and getting in and out of vehicles – not to mention battling the cold both inside and outside of the medical facilities – wears her out.

I bet I’m not alone in facing the “c” word in the sandwich generation. The best way to describe our lives recently is the term “roller coaster.”

I first saw the cancer’s effects while cleaning her apartment one Saturday morning. She asked me to help her change clothes and I almost fainted at what I saw. Her left side looks like someone beat her with a baseball bat. It made the cancer diagnosis seem even more frightening.

Mom had breast cancer before when I was a sophomore in college over 30 years ago. Thankfully she caught it early and was able to get a lumpectomy and radiation to overcome it. Now at age 89, however, she’s obviously not interested in anything like that, and who can blame her?

Despite the tears and sleepless nights, I’ve felt God’s presence and His strength. And even though things looked grim in the beginning, He’s done wonders.

As I write this, it’s been a couple of hours since my brother Mark took her for her latest oncologist visit. And it turns out that Mom’s gonna be around for a while! Her type of cancer responds to a simple, non-chemo medication that she’s been tolerating well so far. It could slow things down. She’s still not feeling one bit of pain from the cancer and is able to do the things she enjoys, including bingo.

God also gave me the most incredible dream on Easter morning that I’ve treasured every day since. In the dream, Mom was absolutely glowing and free from any pain – arthritis or otherwise. She looked beautiful from head to toe and was filled with joy. I wrapped my arms around her and whispered, “I love you so very much.” I woke up with tears of joy streaming down my face.

I’m taking that and the recent good news as a sign that everything’s gonna be okay. I know this journey isn’t going to be all hunky-dory, but I feel an amazing peace about what lies ahead. And, Dear Readers, I’ll definitely keep you updated!