“Extra” family members

Last weekend, I received a text from one of my son Jacob’s closest friends, Colton. Since I am a grant consultant during the day, he was curious if I knew of any funding opportunities for projects he was undertaking. Oh, did I ever!

I was absolutely delighted to see his request. I had done grant prospect research for a former client of mine that just happened to be in his niche. And since said former client of mine stopped paying us and we had to take them to small claims court to eventually get paid two years later… I had no problem sharing the info (with a client name change, of course).

After emailing him the packet of info, I grinned when I received his text of appreciation. I could tell Colton was absolutely delighted and surprised.

I was happy to help Colton because my husband John and I consider him and all our sons’ closest friends to be more like extra family members. For example, we’re eagerly anticipating Jonathon’s best friend’s wedding this summer.

As I’ve written before, nothing makes me happier than walking through our back door to see the (rather large) extra pairs of shoes on the mat. This means that young men have descended upon our house.

Both sons knew growing up that unless someone in our household was sick or going through a family emergency, our home was always open to their friends.

With Jonathon on his own now and Jacob not far behind, I don’t see those extra shoes quite as often. So, when they do show up, the inevitable Amy Shankland Squeal takes place (please don’t shorten that into an acronym/initialism).

I was extra squealy over the holidays when various young men came home for either their college break or just planned vacations from jobs. One, Jacob’s friend Kristian, surprised me two days before Christmas. He lives in California, and Jacob had told me that Kristian wouldn’t be making it back for the holidays last year.

Sneaky, sneaky. When the back door opened, and I heard Kristian’s enthusiastic greeting … yep … squealing. It felt great to give him a big hug and catch up with him.

Watching these young men grow up has been a joy. I love hearing about their adventures and even witnessing some of them on Instagram. I pray for them when I hear about their struggles.

When I became a parent over 24 years ago, I didn’t think much about my kids’ future friends. As I look back, I realize that I should have. My own mom and dad considered my friends their extra family members, along with my brother and sister’s friends. They always opened their home (and primarily the basement, which was a fun hangout spot) to our friends.

I think it’s a bonus when you’re a parent to enjoy and love on your children’s friends. I look forward to continuing this in the years to come … and to witness some of them becoming parents as well!

Amy Shankland is a writer and fundraising professional living in Noblesville with her husband John, two sons, two dogs, and a cat. You can reach her via email at amys@greenavenue.info.

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