One thing I love about the empty nester stage of life is that you can look back and realize how many “nevers” you’ve conquered.
We’ve all heard the saying “never say never.” But I’m sure after some particularly bad experiences, most of us still say, “I’m never doing such and such again.” Or we think we have certain limitations, and we don’t want to push them, so we say “Oh, I could NEVER do THAT!”
Setting boundaries is good and healthy. But holding ourselves back with the word “never” can often prevent us from accomplishing some amazing things in life.
One thing I used to say is that I’d never be in a half-marathon. Most people run or jog in them, and I despise running and jogging. (Sorry, runners!) I wasn’t even thinking about walking one. But I was inspired by seeing a friend walk in one back in 2018 and decided I could give it a try.
On May 5, 2018, I walked the Indianapolis 500 Mini Marathon. I went on to walk several more and enjoyed every one of them.
Our columnist conquering one of her ‘nevers’ back in 2018. (Photo provided)
I also used to say I’d never have my own business. Just the thought of setting one up and potentially supervising people made me tremble. But when the City of Noblesville eliminated my position almost nine years ago, I started listening to that little voice inside of me that said, “You should try grant consulting.”
In July of 2016 I started my own business. While I certainly had my scary moments, I discovered the joy of helping not just one organization, but multiple ones. I looked forward to every weekday – in fact, I still do.
When my business grew and I got tired of turning potential clients away, I realized I needed to face another “never” – supervising people. In November of 2019 I brought on two subcontractors/team members.
Soon we grew beyond the three of us, and I noticed how well I worked with my friend Anne in particular. Anne had just as many years in the fundraising profession as I did, and I saw how we complemented each other.
I had to face another “never” – I said years ago that I’d “never” have a business partner after witnessing a bad experience. My gut instinct wouldn’t leave me alone, and in January of 2022, Anne and I became partners. We’ve enjoyed our roles ever since and conquered bumps in the road together quite well. In fact, we’re adding another partner, and our business is growing yet again.
I’m now a big believer in “never say never.” If your kids are about to leave the nest, or if you’re an empty nester already, now’s the time to re-examine those “nevers.” They may be holding you back from accomplishing some awesome things during in this stage of life.
I’d like to challenge you to defeat a “never” or two and see what happens … you may be astonished at the magnificent results!
Amy Shankland is a writer and fundraising professional living in Noblesville with her husband John, two sons, two dogs, and a cat. You can reach her via email at amys@greenavenue.info.