By JANET HART LEONARD
From the Hart
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.
Romans 5:3-5 NLT
I needed to read those words this week as I felt my endurance hit the wall. Literally, with a SPLAT!
Not sure if it was the letdown after all the Christmas celebrations, my heart still processing grief after the one-year anniversary of my mother’s passing or dealing with nearly two years of COVID.
Probably a combination of all these things … and more.
Life is hard. I have a new bracelet that I wear every day. It says, “I can do hard things.” Truth is I have been doing them for so many years that I have come to realize those hard things will catch up with me.
This past week, they did. While putting the Christmas decorations away and making homemade banana pudding, I made a huge mess in the kitchen when a large bowl fell over and water went all over the floor, the sink, the rug, the countertop. I mean everywhere.
I burst into tears. Who cries over spilled water?
My dear and oh, so caring husband put his arms around me as I wept. I mean I ugly wept. I told him I was just tired of hearing … family tested positive … maybe flight cancellations … family is quarantined … don’t forget your mask … maybe we should cancel or postpone. COVID has become a five-letter curse word.
After two years of doing the COVID shuffle I AM TIRED. My endurance is frail.
And yet …
I remembered how time and time again in years past, God walked beside me through times of disappointments. Times when life was not only hard, but it made no sense. Times when I felt overwhelmed and broken and tired.
I went back to that scripture and read the first verse of Romans 5. Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. NLT
I can sleep in heavenly peace because I have a history with God. I was designed for such a time as this. Scripture reminds me of this.
That night, after my come apart, as I pulled the covers up to my chin, I remembered the times when I wanted to pull the covers up over my head and not wake up until the hurt went away. Eventually it did. One time it took eight years. You read that right. Eight years.
It is during that time that I found who God really was in my life. He wasn’t the magician who waved a wand and made everything better, the way I wanted it and when I wanted it, but … He walked the hard times with me. He brought people into my life that spoke words of encouragement and hope into my heart. I learned to search the scriptures and read my Bible in a new way. “Seek and ye shall find” took new meaning.
I learned so much while sitting, not in a church pew but in my car at Potters Bridge. It was a sacred place for me.
And so it is, as I look toward the New Year, I have a confidence and a hope that God will give me the strength to endure whatever the new year brings. I can rejoice and find joy in knowing that little baby that was born so long ago is still changing lives today … He’s still changing mine.
There is still joy in the world because the Lord has come.
May God bless us, everyone!