By JANET HART LEONARD
From the Hart
Oh, how I can relate to Jehoshaphat. You know him. The king of Judah in 2 Chronicles in the Old Testament of the Bible. He was overwhelmed. He was told by Jahaziel, the son of Zechariah, in 2 Chronicles 20:15, “Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.” NIV
Back to my friends Merriam-Webster to see exactly what VAST means: “very great in size, amount, degree or intensity.”
Hello life!
Truth is, we never know what army we will be going up against. Some days it seems there is one on every side. If not an army, it may appear as just one very large Goliath.
I realized a long time ago that I am a “fixer.” I try to fix people, situations, issues and anything else that seems broken or in need of rescuing. It’s just the way I am.
It is exhausting. My mind and heart get worn out.
I lay awake at night figuring out all kinds of scenarios. What if this happens? What should I say? What should or could I do to help? With what changes can I help? Will my help change anything? Should I say something or keep quiet? Would my suggestions be accepted or resented? Will they make matters worse?
Am I taking on too much responsibility? Is it something I really need to insert myself into? Is it really “my” battle? Am I trying to hold up a sinking ship even though I am not the designated captain?
The weight of the world has never been mine to bear. Janet, read what you just typed.
“But God …” And so I begin telling God how I think He needs to handle the situation. Seriously, ME telling God how to answer my prayer.
Can anyone relate?
You would think at 66 years of age I would have learned I am not obligated to carry the burdens of others. My heart was not designed to carry the weight.
I read all the wise memes. I read scripture while having my devotions. My mind knows it; it’s just that my heart struggles with what my mind knows to be true.
God gave me a tender, caring and loving heart. I hate seeing my friends and family hurt. I want to rescue. I want to fix.
Then I remember the Serenity Prayer. Oh yeah, that.
God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference. Oh, Wisdom where art thou?
God: “Janet, the battle belongs to me.”
Me: “Okay God, I’ll try to remember that.”
Me: “But God …”
God: “No buts.”
God: “If you forget, I’ll have Jehoshaphat remind you.”
Me: “Okay God.”
God: “I got this!”