Sandwiched
I was texting my sister-in-law Janie recently about a variety of topics for my mom. There were so many things we had to focus on – who was taking Mom to her final dermatology appointment on the 12th, how would we get more checks to Mom, Mom’s wish list for Christmas, etc.
Suddenly it hit me. We both had wedding anniversaries coming up – hers on the 15th and mine on the 19th. I finally wished Janie a happy anniversary and she did the same for me. I also remembered she had knee surgery last month and asked how things were going.
I have a feeling many people on a caregiving team fall into this same trap. Everyone gets so wrapped up in the myriad of details surrounding the one – or ones – we’re taking care of that we forget about what’s going on in each other’s lives.
As I’ve mentioned before, most everyone on Mom’s team is a sibling, a sibling’s significant other, or a friend of mine. We all have our own families as well as careers and other interests. And of course I love them all and want to know how everyone is doing.
I find that when I talk to or see one of them, it’s easy to instantly fall into the trap of talking about what we need to do for Mom or what’s happening in her world. Of course, it’s absolutely necessary that we all catch up and at least attempt to get on the same page for her. That’s what being on this team is all about.
But we should also remember and care about each other. My brother once commented that when he sees a message from me, he always thinks it’ll be some sort of news about Mom. That’s a shame.
I love chatting with my siblings and their family members about their latest happenings. Not to brag, but they’re awesome! I couldn’t have grown up in a better family.
So, with the New Year right around the corner, one of my resolutions will be to focus on the lives of my siblings and my friend Michelle FIRST whenever I interact with them. They’re important to me and I need to remember to show them how much I love them. Then, of course, I’ll update them on Mom and we’ll plan out who will be doing what for her!
I hope if you’re on a caregiving team for someone that you can stop and do the same thing next year. Don’t forget to ask others how they’re doing and show them that you care. You never know how much you’ll brighten their lives.