We often say in the office you can’t make these stories up.
One time a friend, who was to provide cooking services at the Strawtown Auction Mart, was unable to comply and asked me to fill in as the chicken and noodle chef.
If you have never been to the Strawtown Auction, it is a must see. Many people attended the Hamilton County Livestock Auction and Horse Sale. There is nothing like a late summer weather stroll through the Strawtown Flea Market where you can find almost anything from animals to estate sale items to flea market antiques, like a wooden Buck crosscut bow hand saw or a box of used fluorescent light bulbs.
Well, it was a particular Thursday night, and I was cooking with my apron and chef hat on when a gentleman sat at the counter and ordered a plate of chicken and dumplings. As it happened, he was the opposing party to a divorce I had handled some months prior. He was sure he recognized my face but just couldn’t place me. I never said a word.
The stories are great because people do seemingly crazy things. For instance, Notre Dame, supposedly a Catholic institution, gave notice that it intended to bring a drag performance to the campus on Nov. 3, 2023. Students would be asked to read essays on drag, write weekly reflections, attend class discussions, and attend weekly screenings as well as symposiums on drag and performance.
In one case years ago, a witness was asked how much he had to drink and he indicated he had just one drink. When he was asked what it was, he replied, “I think it was a fifth of whiskey.”
“Isn’t it true you have rats in your trailer?” Answer: “No, that’s why I have the weasels.”
“Isn’t it true that you sat around the house in a pink tutu?” The answer was too graphic to print in a family newspaper.
“Were you lying then or are you lying now?” Answer: “I guess I’m lying now.”
In court, conversation, as court ended, went this way: “You take the Bible!” “No, you take the Bible!” And then it became heated. I guess it was better to give than to receive.
“Isn’t it dangerous to have that six-foot electric fence around your house?” Answer: “No, it is inside the moat.”
No, you can’t make the stories up because no one would believe it. We often say that a crazy story must be true because no one would tell it as truth if they were trying to lie because it’s unbelievable. Although sometimes, what with the pills, the marijuana, and the alcohol, the person actually doesn’t remember what happened.
Ray, Ray, Ray… You are a Lawyer, yes, one of those lawyers. I have been an Attorney, but have never been a
lawyer. Why are you portraying yourself as a strawtown good ol boy when you ate actually a politically entrenced good ol boy? Drumming up business Ray? hahaha