Bits of wisdom

Mom had some favorite “Dad” jokes.

My friend, a retired minister, asked, “Do you know what a cow that just had a calf is?”

I’ve lived on a farm only 47 years, so of course, I didn’t know. Well, now I do. He said it’s a “decalfinated” cow. A zoology teacher was standing near. He chuckled and said, “I’ll have to tell that to my class.”

That gave me a chance to show my knowledge. Just a week or so earlier, another friend, a retired schoolteacher, had asked this question: “Why is one arm of the “V” of Canadian geese form as they fly north, longer than the other?” I like birds, but since we are not on really intimate terms, I exposed my ignorance. Would you believe the zoology teacher didn’t know either?

My friend had explained it to me so I shared the secret: It’s because there are more birds on one side. You should have heard that teacher laugh! “I’ve got to tell that one to my class, too. Where’s a pencil and paper?”

And that’s how kids now-a-days get their smarts.

As you get older, you discover that a lot of your friends are retired. One of my friends is a retired – no, I think graduated is a better word – homemaker. What that means is she is now smart enough to raise her grandkids.

Last week she had a call from her niece. “Auntie, something’s wrong with me, I can’t think right, my speech is slurred, I can’t even walk straight.”

After a few comments like that, my friend asked, “Are you on tranquilizers?”

Goodness, would you know the answer to that if someone asked you? The niece didn’t know. Her reply was, “I don’t know. I just take this stuff the doctor prescribed, but, Auntie, why do you think that might be it?”

Are you thinking my friend had a child or grandchild that had been messing in drugs? Or maybe had had some herself? That was not the case.

She learned when her mother – that’s right, a great-grandmother – was so tranquilized she couldn’t be quite accountable. Why would great-grandma do that? It turned out she was just taking “that stuff” the doctor had prescribed and he had allowed too many refills of the prescription. All that reminds us that kids aren’t the only ones who have problems. They can pop up anywhere anytime and often where unexpected faces.