We live in turbulent times
Leveling at 30,000 feet after departing LaGuardia Airport, our jet was jostled. We represented nothing but a tubular chew toy in the jaws of a masticating, mythical sky beast. The…
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Has anyone seen my phone?
I know what my son, Austin, was probably thinking a few years ago: it’s time to revoke the old man’s iPhone privileges. For the second time in two weeks, he…
A father, a son – a baseball
I recently found a photo of my Peanut League team, dated 1972. There are five of us of varying height. The tallest, of course, is closest to me, his left…
World peace, pancakes, no polyps
For Dave Barry “How’s your butthole today?” That’s how my proctologist greeted me upon entering the exam room just before my colonoscopy. Her tone was as chirpy as if she…
A funny thing happened on the way to the proctologist
Which would you rather visit, the Bureau of Motor Vehicles (BMV) office to renew your driver’s license or a proctologist’s office to get an exam? A no-win answer either way,…
Dad set the bar of success too high
In 2019, I toured the mammoth Toyota Motor Manufacturing Indiana (TMMI) plant in Princeton, Ind. How big is TMMI? The tour involves boarding a tram. Need I say more? At…
The rudeness of New Yorker kindness
MANHATTAN – I had been forewarned and wary of the rudeness of New Yorkers clear back to 1983 when as a high school senior I saw Terms of Endearment. In…
“How I Broke This,” ep. 3: Buzzard Roost Public Library
“A book is a loaded gun in the house next door. Burn it. Take the shot from the weapon.” – Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451 PODCAST COLD OPEN: I’m Guy Razz,…
Forget sharks, beware of “Spider Can”
This happened several years ago. After showering, I slid on my underwear, a pair plucked from the laundered mound on my bedroom floor. What I did not know then was…
She loved where she lived
In 2021, my mother was buried at We Love Where We Live cemetery in the river town that she was moored to her whole life. The cemetery’s official name is…