Articles by Scott Saalman

The Bottomless Lake

By SCOTT SAALMAN Scaramouch Recently, we were notified that our rent in Fishers would be raised an added $800 per month, triggering a second move in less than a year….


For him, a little kudos can go a wrong way

By SCOTT SAALMAN Scaramouch I was walking in my neighborhood when a bicyclist shouted, “I liked your last two columns.” A rarity. An unsolicited compliment from an uncloseted reader for…



Gimme shelter

By SCOTT SAALMAN Scaramouch It is Easter Sunday, and he is showing me where the dead will be placed, should anyone die down here, 12 feet below the ground, in…


26 steps to good writing

By SCOTT SAALMAN Scaramouch Step 1: Sit down. Step 2: Stand up. Step 3: Go to cabinet for Fritos. Step 4: Repeat Step 1. Step 5: Hate self for eating…


“One of These Nights” from hell

By SCOTT SAALMAN Scaramouch Recently, the Eagles performed in Indianapolis as part of their Hotel California tour. Hotel California is one of the greatest albums ever, though the title track,…


Nose hairs gone wild

By SCOTT SAALMAN Scaramouch At first glance, it appeared that a cricket had crawled inside my nose, one of its thin, hind legs the only thing visible, dangling from my…


Confessions of a full-court mess

By SCOTT SAALMAN Scaramouch March Madness is here, a time when people in these parts are bonkers for basketball. I could not care less – sacrilegious sentiment, I know, for…