Gimme shelter
By SCOTT SAALMAN Scaramouch It is Easter Sunday, and he is showing me where the dead will be placed, should anyone die down here, 12 feet below the ground, in…
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26 steps to good writing
By SCOTT SAALMAN Scaramouch Step 1: Sit down. Step 2: Stand up. Step 3: Go to cabinet for Fritos. Step 4: Repeat Step 1. Step 5: Hate self for eating…
“One of These Nights” from hell
By SCOTT SAALMAN Scaramouch Recently, the Eagles performed in Indianapolis as part of their Hotel California tour. Hotel California is one of the greatest albums ever, though the title track,…
Nose hairs gone wild
By SCOTT SAALMAN Scaramouch At first glance, it appeared that a cricket had crawled inside my nose, one of its thin, hind legs the only thing visible, dangling from my…
Confessions of a full-court mess
By SCOTT SAALMAN Scaramouch March Madness is here, a time when people in these parts are bonkers for basketball. I could not care less – sacrilegious sentiment, I know, for…
It’s only Wordle and Wordle is all he has
By SCOTT SAALMAN Scaramouch The last thing the world really needs right now is another word nerd writing about his or her Wordle experiences, causing readers to suffer through some…
The Girl Across The Field Revisited
By SCOTT SAALMAN Scaramouch The field just sat there day and night That’s all they said it could do But I know that’s not entirely right For it took me…
He’s feeling the concert ‘Sting’
By SCOTT SAALMAN Scaramouch I’m still reeling from the sting of Sting right now. Sting, as in the world-famous Rock and Roll Hall of Fame singer-songwriter who once fronted one…
He’s a sucker for bait-and-switch
By SCOTT SAALMAN Scaramouch Let me tell you about a bait-and-switch tactic I fell for once upon a time. I was freshly divorced then, lonely – and someone rang my…
“Paper Moon” and other movies with Mom
By SCOTT SAALMAN Scaramouch We didn’t finish Paper Moon. We started watching it last fall at my childhood home where I first saw the Peter Bogdanovich masterwork on TV as…