As we continue to examine how to be more joyful at work, I want to pause for a moment and discuss something fellow columnist Amy Shinneman brought up recently. It’s how we typically respond to the question, “How are you?”
Amy pointed out what so many of us know – that when someone asks us “how are you?”, nine times out of 10, they’re not expecting to REALLY hear how we are. So, we smile and say, “I’m fine,” or “good” or “great,” even when we’re truly not. It’s just a polite question and answer thing that so many of us do automatically.
Her column got my wheels turning. Yes, I’m writing a series about bringing joy to the workplace. But we’re not always feeling joyful or happy, are we? Yet, so many times, we’re expected to plaster on a smile and act that way in our professional lives.
As a business owner, I began to wonder … what if we each took 60 seconds when our workday starts, or when we begin a meeting, to truly express how we’re doing? To let our boss and coworkers know that maybe we don’t have it all together, we’re a little sad, or we’re just “meh.”
I think this could help us all bring more joy to our workplaces. Stay with me here.
I actually feel relief when someone tells me that their life isn’t perfect, or that things are hard, or that something is bothering them. Why? Because it shows me that I’m not alone!
Two things can happen when you hear someone share that they’re struggling with something. One, it gives you the chance to listen, empathize, and lift them up in some way. And I see it as an opportunity to spread some joy to that person, whether you work with them or not.
I love to do this anonymously if possible. When you know someone you work with is down, leave their favorite candy on their desk the next day. Drop off an “I’m thinking of you” card later that week. Order some flowers to be delivered to them. And say some prayers for them if that’s your thing.
If you can’t spend any money, share a poem that made you think of them. Offer to do a project for them to lighten their workload. Or just ask “would you like a hug?” if this person is a friend of yours and it is appropriate.
Two, when you hear someone is struggling, maybe you can share what you did in a similar situation and how you overcame it. Just make certain it truly is identical. For example, I’ve heard stories about people hearing that someone lost a relative and explaining how they “understand” because they’ve lost a pet. Not the same thing.
Amy’s column has inspired me to ask my partner if we can open our team meetings with “How are you REALLY?” and take a minute to truly listen to our team members. I think just sharing what we may be struggling with can lift a bit of weight off our shoulders and help us be more productive.
Remember, employees are human beings, people who feel a range of emotions. When we can be “real” with one another in private situations, we can lift each other up and spread joy in the workplace!
Amy Shankland is a writer and fundraising professional living in Noblesville with her husband John, two sons, two dogs and a cat. You can reach her via email at amys@greenavenue.info.