Amy Shankland’s new book will help others navigate church alone

By AMY ADAMS
news@readthereporter.com

Amy Shankland was on her way to a wedding in August 2020 when she suddenly announced to her husband that she thought she was going to leave the Catholic church. Her husband, who isn’t Catholic, was somewhat surprised.

“All my adult life, I’ve gone to church alone,” she said. “I’m tired of going alone.”

The other reason she was thinking about leaving the church was that, since her divorce from her previous husband, she had not been allowed to take communion. She had started the process years prior, but she said the undertaking proved to be emotionally gut-wrenching and she didn’t complete it.

Just a few days after expressing her feelings to her husband, she was on a training walk for a marathon when a priest from her church called. He was preparing to move to a different parish, but he told her that before he left he wanted to help her finish the process to be able to receive communion again.

For Shankland, that call was a sign. She had 90 more minutes of her training walk to consider what the priest had suggested. By the time she finished her walk, she had decided to work with him to do what was necessary.

The weekend Shankland turned 50, she received communion again for the first time in years.

“It was like a fire was lit within me, and I really think this is from God,” she said. “Now, unless I am sick or someone is dying, I don’t miss church. I don’t go anymore because I have to go. I go because I want to.”

Shankland said that millions of people feel the way she did about going to church alone.

“Whether you’re single, widowed, or married but your spouse does not attend church, going to church alone can be hard,” she said.

According to Shankland’s research, LifeWay Christian Resources reported that 20 percent of church attendees come alone. Single Friendly Church, an organization in the U.K., has shown that many of those who attend church alone feel that their churches don’t know what to do with them.

In light of these statistics and study results, Shankland said she wants all people who attend church alone to feel the same excitement and joy she now feels in going to church solo.

Having a degree in journalism from Indiana University and being a regular columnist for The Reporter, Shankland finds herself driven to write whenever she sees a problem and wants to share a possible solution. She said a theme is that she is writing for herself as well as others.

How to Thrive (Not Just Survive) Attending Church Solo, which has a proposal pending with a Christian publisher, will be Shankland’s fifth book published since 2013. She first self-published the fictional Hoop Mama with FastPencil. Joy to You and Me at Work debuted in 2018, followed by Lighten Your Mental Load in 2020, both by Tell-Tale Publishing. Her most recent title, Interviews By a Clueless White Woman was released by Warren Publishing in 2022.

In How to Thrive (Not Just Survive) Attending Church Solo, Shankland will share strategies that have made a difference for her. For example, she has begun going to church with others in a similar situation and currently sits with a widow and a divorcee.

“I tell people they need to reach out to other solo people,” she said. “We have to help each other.”

Shankland also has invited her priest over for dinner, has begun creating a church family, and is finding and meeting with “God” friends outside of church.

“My overall theme is to stop making church just a Sunday or Saturday thing,” she said. “Try to ‘live’ church all week long.”

Shankland said she recognizes that pastors and priests have a tough job these days. She would encourage them to be more open to how they can make the church experience more inviting for solo attendees.

Shankland said her own church, Our Lady of Grace in Noblesville, is making efforts to help meet the needs of those who attend church alone. Nametag Sunday seems to be making a difference by helping people get to know others at church. And, soon, they will be piloting small groups.

Shankland said she encourages those who attend church alone to join such groups. She also said she suggests people read books and listen to podcasts on their own to further strengthen their foundation of faith. Books like Heaven and Money, Possessions, and Eternity by Randy Alcorn have especially impacted Shankland.

With Christmas coming up, Shankland said she particularly wants to encourage people who will be going to holiday services alone to try to incorporate some of these tips.

“Give yourself that little Christmas miracle,” she said, “Do your best to make the experience special even if you’re solo.”

About Amy Thornton Shankland
Amy Thornton Shankland is a grant consultant and has been writing stories ever since she received a typewriter when she was eight years old. She has given local, regional, and national workshops on various writing topics. Visit her online at authoramythornton.wordpress.com, on social media @authoramythornton, and read her columns at ReadTheReporter.com.