A smile without guilt

When asked to do something, I ask myself, “Will this make me smile?

During our recent conversation, Steve Wariner shared this insight with me as I interviewed him for the Hamilton County Reporter.

I got to thinking about the power of those words. They can shape how I live my days, calm my anxiety as I make decisions, assure me of a life with fewer regrets, and leave me less weary.

Have you ever said yes to something before you thought about it? Later, did you wonder, “What was I thinking?”

Have you ever felt like your heart was heavy at the end of the day? Could part of that be saying yes when you should have said no?

Have you ever been swayed by others’ enthusiasm to agree to something you later regretted?

Yes, me too.

As I tiptoe into my 70s this year, I recognize the importance of engaging in things that make me smile and bring me joy.

I’ve been pondering what that looks like …

Getting up before the sun peeks into my window to have my devotions by candlelight.

Going for a walk and greeting others along the way.

Lighting a candle and sitting down with my coffee, a blanket, and a novel. Some warm, just-out-of-the-oven chocolate chip cookies might be my lunch.

Photo provided by Janet Hart Leonard

Sitting on my back porch and pondering over my blessings while listening to the birds as they perch on my birdfeeders.

Those things make my heart smile. I no longer feel guilty about doing what appears not to be productive. My heart may be doing a cartwheel as I write this.

I’m also realizing the joy of small things that make my heart beat a bit faster …

A new journal in which to write my thoughts.

Seeing a familiar face at one of my favorite cafes or coffee shops.

Meandering through the aisles of a thrift shop to find the perfect candlestick to give to a friend who has made a difference in my life. I remind them to light the taper and not to save them for “special” occasions.

Discovering a new worship song that makes my heart want to shout while it smiles. (Listen to Tauren Wells and Elevation Worship singing “Joy in the Morning.”)

I’ve come to realize I need to say no to listening, scrolling, and engaging in conversations that ruffle my peace.

When my inner peace and ability to smile are threatened, I need to say yes to myself and no to others.

So, I step away from my day’s frantic hustle and bustle and find a quiet place to ponder. I get out my favorite writing pen, open my new favorite journal, and tap onto Spotify. I listen to some piano hymns, and I rest my weary soul. It is then that I find my heart, and even my soul, are smiling.

I realize something new is happening. I am becoming braver about saying, “No.” I realize it is not a bad word but a freeing one. I do not want to waste my time or energy doing things that do not make me smile.

When I say no to the wants of others, I say yes to my peace of mind and heart. My need for peace is greater than my need to please the wants of others. Janet, read that again.

I wish I had learned this sooner. Stay tuned. As I age, I am getting wiser … with a little help from my friends.

And as Steve said to me … If it doesn’t make me smile, I’m not going to do it.

Janet Hart Leonard can be contacted at janethartleonard@gmail.com or followed on Facebook or Instagram (@janethartleonard). Visit janethartleonard.com.