By AMY SHANKLAND
Sandwiched
It’s been a rough year for our family, to put it mildly. In a little over four months, we discovered my mother’s cancer, both of my sons’ hearts have been broken, and I lost my biggest client. I know I’m not alone. We all have struggles in this life.
Recently, I also faced a huge decision about an avenue for publishing my next book. For two weeks, I did due diligence “to the max.” I read every article I could find about it. I talked to some women who had taken that path. And most of all, I prayed.
I don’t like to ask God for a sign. But as my decision deadline approached last week due to a contract, I realized I still didn’t know what to do. My head hurt from all of my research. For once, I didn’t want to think about my book anymore.
Finally I said, “Okay, I give up. You’ve gotta show me what to do here. I still have no clue.”
Photo provided
The next morning, I found the little heart pictured here right by my computer keyboard. It’s not unusual for it to be on my desk, as this gift has been on the corner of it for over a month now. But I have no clue how it got moved. It was literally the first thing I saw when I began to work one morning last week.
It says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart.”
While this didn’t give me the instant answer I was hoping for, it did calm me. I felt more relaxed about the decision than I had in days.
I actually had two options pending for my book. I was also waiting on an answer from yet another agent. (My spring and summer have been filled with rejections.) I reached out to the agent to let her know I had an offer from a publisher to see if she was any closer to making her decision.
Last Thursday morning, I opened my email to learn she could not accept my book. And with 100 percent clarity, I leaned back and said, “Okay. It’s done. I know what to do now.”
I looked over at my little pewter heart and felt a flood of relief pour through my entire body. And I smiled.
Yes, it’s already been a year of struggles. But I see the beauty in all of them. My mother’s not in any pain yet from the cancer and her medical professionals are all top-notch. My sons are healing and I know someone else will love them the way they should be loved down the road. We gained an amazing, sharp new client who is going to start in August – and more are on the way.
Helen Steiner Rice has a beautiful poem called “God Knows Best” that has sustained me since I was 13. I’ll leave you with my favorite stanza that sums up why we need to trust Him. It has been in my heart these past few days:
God never hurts us needlessly,
And He never wastes our pain
For every loss He send to us
Is followed by rich gain.