As my adoption and reunion story ends, I’ve continued to change some names, places, and dates.
This is my final column discussing my adoption and reunion journey. I can’t thank you all enough for your love and support over the past nine months! Your response has truly warmed my heart. I’ll share some last thoughts today to wrap things up.
If you are searching for your biological relatives, my experience tells me that it’s good to gather any non-identifying information, if possible, before starting your search with the state you were born in. As mentioned in a previous column, I contacted the probate court in the county that handled my adoption for this information.
If your state doesn’t have open records yet, and I think it’s only a matter of time before all of them do, I would obviously recommend Troy Dunn’s Locator Club. The cost was and still is reasonable to join this online club. You can watch short webinars to go step-by-step and learn about various processes.
Of course, like many things, I’ve seen some naysayers online about Mr. Dunn and his programs. I can only tell you what I experienced, and it was overall positive. I liked that I could learn a little at a time and go at my own pace. The site also features a lot of helpful forums where you can either find answers to your questions or post new ones to get answers.
The Locator Club can give you a variety of options for how to find your birth parents or child. You can start with the agency that took care of your adoption, which is one of the options I chose. The club talks about many nonprofits that help with reunions as well. I did not go in depth with any of these, so all I can say is to proceed with caution and make certain if you go this route that it is legitimate.
State registries, while somewhat of a long shot at reuniting people, can still be helpful. In my case, if I had simply registered with the correct state, I could’ve found my birth father a bit faster.
I never researched private investigators, but this is an option as well.
I’m sure that all adoptees feel differently about their birth parents. Some have no desire to find them, as I did before I had children. Some just want non-identifying info or medical records. Others want names and basic information. Still others want to know as much as possible.
The look on my face says it all during my trip to New York City in 2017 with my birth father, Jack. We had a great time! (Photo provided by Amy Shankland)
I simply wanted whatever the Lord had planned for me. And, oh, He has given me so much! Since 2017, I have:
- Traveled twice with my birth father, Jack – once to New York City and once to Boston.
- Met my birth mother, Linda, while in New York City.
- Met both of my half-sisters on Jack’s side in the fall of 2019. We are now friends! We text, send Christmas cards, and enjoy seeing photos of our families on Facebook. They are delightful women.
- Officially claimed Jack as both my mentor and dear friend.
To tell you that Jack and Linda are my birthparents; that I am friends with them; that I’ve met Jack face-to-face; and that I communicate regularly with them is nothing short – to me – of a miracle. My story isn’t over, and who knows how it will end, but I thank God regularly that I took that first step years ago. I would not change a thing.