From the Heart
As you might have figured out by now, my mother would be one of the nicest ladies you would ever meet. She is also a force to be reckoned with.
My mother is strong-minded and strong-willed. Even at almost 94, she tells it like she sees it.
There is not an unkind bone in her body. However, she has been able to stand her ground on her beliefs. She expects to be treated with respect and kindness. She expects her family to be treated well by others. Don’t mess with her tribe or you will hear from her.
She has passed that on to her daughter. Here is a smidgen of what I have learned from her …
Never allow anyone to use you as a doormat. Do not be at the beck and call of those who wish you to do their bidding so that they can control you.
You can say no and still be nice about it. It’s in how you present your “no” that makes the greatest impact.
Saying no does not have to come with a reason. Sometimes when you give an excuse for your “no,” it leaves room for the other person to argue with you.
You do not have to go along with the wishes of others just to keep the peace. Sometimes you have to sweep up the eggshells that you have been walking on and walk out the door of a relationship and take your broom with you. You have to recognize that some people will always come with eggshells. Learn to recognize that type of person. Say “no” to eggshells.
You may have to ruffle a few feathers to truly find your peace.
Walking away from an argument does not make you a winner or a loser in a discussion. It does make you the wiser.
A soft answer is often heard more than a loud argument. Think about that one.
If you are being handed hoop after hoop to jump through and never being able to make someone satisfied with your actions, then you may need to walk away from that relationship. There is a lot to be said about finding peace in your mind as well as your life. No more hoops.
You can only spin so many platters at a time. Choose your platters wisely. Just because what you are asked to do is a good thing, it can be bad for you and your family. You are NOT the only person who can do a job and do it well.
Don’t allow someone to compliment you into doing something you feel is not right for you. Read that again.
Being dragged into the arena of a circus is something you allow to happen. You do not have to attend their circus nor do you have to play with their monkeys. Dealing with your own monkeys is difficult enough.
Letting someone have the last word does not make them right.
Sometimes the fewer the words you say the more someone will listen.
Saying no does not make you a bad person. Saying no does not make you unkind.
How you allow someone to treat you is being watched by your children. Read that again. If someone treats you with disrespect, and you allow it, it may become a curse to the next generation.
Being kind to yourself is healthy. Being kind to others is good for your soul. Find a place for both in your life.
There is a sweetness in saying no to the bitterness of others.
If kindness is not being brought to the table by those you have in your life … find a new table and don’t invite them. Better to eat alone than choke on the words that bitter people serve to you.
Well, as you can see, my mother is still influencing me and my tribe and my community. There is a lot to be said about a wise and kind woman who will be 94 on March 14. There is no saying “no” to that.