By JANET HART LEONARD
From the Hart
Oh, my dear daughter Emily, how can you be turning 40 this week when my mind still thinks I am 40? I don’t listen to what my body thinks. My body thinks I am 65.
This week, we celebrate from a distance, yet my heart is so near to yours.
Your gift is on its way, but being the daughter of your grandmother, who never stopped giving me advice until she passed, I will do the same.
So here goes …
Five minutes on the phone with your mother will make her day. Never think “it’s just five minutes.”
Putting yourself in “time out” is important, even more so, when you are 40. Take a bubble bath by candlelight while binge watching Netflix. Tell Drew, Aiden and Leah you will treat them to pizza … at the pizza place. They can bring you back leftovers. Tell them not to rush.
When a “mean mom” invades your offspring’s territory, never be afraid to stand your ground to protect your children. You can be kind even while speaking your mind. Your mother has watched the karma ghost come back to haunt a few mean moms. It may take years but it will come back to them.
Your kids will remember the times you were silly. Do more of the silly. Those memories will always make them smile.
Make sure you are in the Kodak moments with them. You know … pictures. I learned the hard way that you need to be in the pictures, not just the one taking them.
Enjoy your sisterhood community. Find those girlfriends that you can be “real” with. Every girlfriend has a little bit of the Velveteen Rabbit in her. Lean in, listen to their stories and learn how to love them well. Your girlfriends need you and they need your wise voice. In return, I pray they love you well.
Take Drew on dates. Dates without kids. Listen to his heart. Tell him the thoughts from your heart. Never forget the love you found all those years ago. Love will look different over the years. Make sure your love is treated with the same care as you promised at that altar some 12 years ago. I pray Drew loves you well.
Just know, life happens. It can be unfair. It can be cruel. You will get through the muck and yuck. You will heal from the hurts and the bruises. At 40, you have had a few. You will have more.
The losses and goodbyes will be the most difficult things you will endure. Value the time you have with those you love. The older you get, the more you will value that time.
Your children will grow up. They will leave the nest. Who knows, they may move back to Indiana. As long as they are happy, allow them to fly. You can give them directions (you are your mother’s daughter after all) but their GPS may take them places you never expected. Trust them. They are being raised by wise parents (and grandparents).
Don’t allow your 9-to-5 job to become 24/7. Allow time for pauses. Don’t sleep with your job. It can be an evil bedfellow.
Hold tight to the legacy of your grandmother’s faith. Trust God to hold your pen as He writes your story. Faith is not about going to church and obeying all the commandments. It’s about having a personal relationship with God. It’s knowing He will always be with you, no matter the circumstances.
Take a deep breath whenever you become stressed. Hold for five seconds. Slowly breathe out through your mouth for 10 seconds. Repeat this several times. Trust me, it will help with stress. I know this well.
Laugh, my dear daughter, laugh! Picture your mom dancing in a TikTok video. OK, maybe not.
Never think that you are too old to do something. Well, you are too old to skydive. Don’t even think about it.
I love you, Emily. I am blessed to call you my daughter.
Just enjoy life, my dear Emily. 40 is a such a sweet number but I can assure you … so is 65.