It’s just a thing

By AMY SHANKLAND

Sandwiched

My son Jonathon, his friend Ayden, and I spent the day at one of my happy places last Saturday – Lake of the Woods in Bremen, Ind. I’ve written about this place in previous columns. One of my families (I always say I have three of them – the one I grew up in, the one I married into, and the one that helped raise me) has had a cottage there since 1949.

We met my brother-in-law Mike, my niece, my nephew, and their families for a day of swimming and boating. Mike took one look at Jonathon and Ayden and declared that the day would be perfect for removing the raft for the season later that afternoon. With school starting soon, it wouldn’t be used much. And having strong young men around certainly helps!

The raft is secured by an anchor and is always a hit for everyone. You can easily dive and jump off of one side.

When it got close to dinnertime, my nephew Brian dove down below the raft to start the moving process … and promptly lost his wedding ring. He recently lost a lot of weight and the ring slipped right off of his finger. The lake has a mucky bottom. Brian immediately knew it was gone forever.

When he came back to the pier and told us the news, we gasped. His wife, Lisa, was sitting in the nearby pontoon boat. I looked over at her and felt terrible.

After recovering from the initial surprise, she told Brian, “It’s okay. I’m not mad.”

A few minutes later, Lisa and Brian were discussing the situation a little more and Brian pointed out that they had insurance and that the ring could be replaced.

“It’s just a simple gold band,” Lisa said wisely. “After 21 years of marriage, it’s not something I’m going to get upset about.” I nodded.

“It’s just a thing,” I replied.

This story illustrates something my own family and I have been saying a lot lately. I think with the pandemic and some of the bad things that have happened recently in our family, we’ve gained a lot of perspective.

Sure, it’s great to have a nice home, cars, furniture, clothes, jewelry, etc. But we’ve come to realize that none of that is what is important in life. When we eventually go – and let’s face it, no one gets out alive – none of that stuff really matters. And of course, the old saying is true – you can’t take it with you. They’re just things.

What’s truly important is loving others and being loved. Helping people. Showing everyone kindness. Spending time with family and friends.

And, it’s important to remember that no object is more important than a loving relationship – especially a long marriage. I learned a lot from my nephew and his wife that day. I hope you do as well.