By KHAYLA WILLIAMS
Guest Columnist
Suicide continues to be a growing issue among the youth of today’s generation. In the U.S., suicide is the second leading cause of death for the ages of 10 to 24, and suicidal thoughts can affect anyone regardless of their age, gender, or background.
Due to current circumstances of COVID-19 and job loss, many people experienced mental health problems for the first time, such as depression and anxiety, due to isolation and quarantine. September is suicide prevention month, and this week is suicide prevention week. This raises important questions of what further strides we can take to play a role in suicide prevention.
One stride we can take is increasing the dialogue surrounding suicide. Four out of five individuals who die by suicide showed some signs. Some warning signs include seeming indifferent or detached during situations in which they usually wouldn’t and decrease in personal hygiene. More importantly, “high functioning” people may not show any signs. Hence, they are less likely to reach out for help.
Friends and loved ones are the ones who have the most contact with the person who is struggling, and therefore should be observant of people for signs of struggle. Often, the person just needs someone to talk to and listen without judgment. Saying the wrong thing is a fear some people may have, but it is established that bringing up questions of whether or not someone is suicidal will not increase suicidal ideation. On the other hand, the person who is struggling may be scared to be honest out of fear the other person might overreact. Suicidality isn’t something people can snap out of, but showing little acts of care can help along the way.
Phrases may have positive intentions but sometimes do more harm than good:
“You have so much to live for.”
This belittles people’s emotions and experiences. Their mental state can make it nearly impossible to be grateful for good things. Other times they know and already feel guilty.
“Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”
This phrase can have mixed reactions depending whom it is being said to. Because many months may have passed leading up to this suicidality, the situation may not seem temporary to the person struggling.
David Foster Wallace makes an interesting comparison:
“…The person in whom its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames.”
The most important phrase to explicitly say: “How can I help?”
So, how should this conversation proceed? Here is an outline:
- Make sure you are emotionally secure enough to have this conversation.
- Approach the situation with empathy. Listen to understand and not to reply. Let them know you care.
- Ask directly if they are thinking about suicide.
- Show your support using phrases to encourage them to be open and give more details if they’re comfortable.
- Ask if they have a plan.
- Help remove lethal means.
- Stay with them and ask them what you can do to help: Talk, distract, or just be there?
- Make plans for the future (i.e. hanging out on weekends).
- Identify other supports such as parents, family, friends, teachers or colleagues.
- Make plans to potentially seek treatment or contact their doctor/therapist.
- Escort them to mental health services or an emergency room, if necessary.
Prevention of suicide isn’t just talking with someone who is suicidal; preventative measures can start early. One of the biggest early prevention methods is increasing early mental health education and simply being kind. If you say you will be there for someone, be there! Many people won’t reach out on their own due to their fear of being a burden.
Another major preventative is taking steps to decrease the stigma around mental illness and not being dismissive when someone opens up about their mental health struggles. Learn that it’s OK not to be OK, and furthermore, to prioritize your mental health over productivity.
Check on your friends CONSISTENTLY! It is not just on your friends to come to you when they are struggling. Ask how they are doing genuinely and be open to discussing difficult feelings. It is important to keep in mind that having suicidal thoughts doesn’t make you inferior. It’s time to start showing empathy for each other and make the world a happier place.
If you are feeling suicidal, or concerned about someone who is, in the U.S. call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255. If you are suicidal with a plan, immediately call 911 in the U.S. or go to your nearest emergency room.
Khayla Williams is a student at Hamilton Southeastern High School and is a summer research intern for Project STEM.