Once upon a time …

From the Heart

Beware, this may get schmaltzy.

It was Thursday morning when I was drinking coffee and enjoying a leisurely breakfast at Ginger’s with my friends, Patrice Lyttle and Shannon Plumer. Shannon asked how Chuck and I met. I told her and she asked if we ever argued.

I smiled and told her, “No, but we do disagree.”

Perhaps it’s our age. We realize that life is short. Life is meant to be lived and loved well. What a shame to waste it.

We both love being married. A love story was written for Chuck and his wife, Nancy, which lasted over 50 years. A second love story began a little over five years ago for Chuck and me.

I had been single 14 years. Those years had many chapters that had lots of struggles and lots of lonely nights.

And then came Chuck.

I always say that it began … once upon a time …

Every love song that my ears had heard all those years was never heard by my heart … until Chuck. I listen to them now and when my heart hears them, my eyes leak. Why? Because I still can’t help falling in love with him … over and over again.

He laughs when he folds the towels the way I taught him to fold them. Why? Because he knows it makes me happy. He says it’s silly but he does it anyway.

I laugh when he gets on to me about emptying the small trash cans on Friday. He says I am taking away his Saturday jobs. I do it anyway.

Neither one of us eats much so we often share a meal. I find myself ordering the vegetable that he likes and he orders steak the way I like it. Just because.

My favorite time of day is when we sit across from each other at the kitchen table and he drinks his tea and I drink my coffee and we read the newspaper.

Words aren’t always spoken but love is.

I put my glasses on every night to watch TV in bed and when I am about to fall asleep he tries to take them off. I grunt “ah, ah, ah” and then I fall asleep and he takes them off. He asks why I don’t just take them off when I know I’m finished watching the news. I tell him because I know he will. Makes no sense but to him but I know he will take care of me, even in the little things.

I tell younger wives and husbands to pick your battles. Ask yourself, “Will my opinion or action help or hinder or even hurt the relationship I have with my spouse?” There you will find your answers to a happy marriage.

Ask yourself, “Do my actions tell my husband or wife that I truly care or do they say it’s all about me?” It’s about actions as well as words.

My favorite word in the marriage ceremony is CHERISH. I love the definition that says “to remember or hold in a deeply felt way.” I never imagined feeling cherished … until Chuck.

They say the grass is always greener on the other side. Pay attention to your own grass and your relationship will be the greenest of green, with a little tender loving care. Love intentionally.

At our reception Chuck and I danced as his son, Scott, sang “I Cross My Heart” by George Strait. The words say so much about how I feel about Chuck: “Share all the love and laughter that a lifetime will allow.” We won’t have 50 years to share our lives but I promise Chuck that he will never find a love as true as mine.

I warned you it would get schmaltzy. Chuck will always be the miracle that makes my life complete and as long as there’s a breath in me I’ll make his just as sweet … I cross my heart.

So Shannon, now you know the answers to your questions.