From the Heart
Seek and ye shall find …
It takes time. The story is there. It is only when we take the time to find out what that story is, can we really know someone.
The more we know about someone the more we understand them. Why they are the way they are.
When we know their story we value them more. We get a peek inside not only their mind but their heart.
The higher my age becomes the more I seek to find the stories of the people in my life, not just friends, but those who are part of my community.
The server at the restaurant. The nurse at my mother’s assisted living. The cashier at the drug store who always greets me with a smile.
I have learned to ask questions. How long have they been doing what they are doing? What is the best part about their job? Why did they decide to do what they are doing?
Over time, the questions not only give insight into who they are but why they are the way they are. The questions become more about them as a person rather than what they do.
People are not all about their profession. They are about the way they were raised. They are about the obstacles they have overcome. They are about the soft places where they have been hurt. They are about hurt, abandonment, abuse, challenges and their village.
No one gets through this life without being knocked down or left alone.
I love asking people, “What would you be doing if you were not doing what you are doing?” I get a lot of funny looks when I ask that question. I love hearing their answers. They lead to more questions.
I do ask a lot of strange questions. I find the stories that people have are often fascinating.
One of my favorite questions is, “If there was a movie made about your life, who would play you, and why?” I love listening to the responses. For me, Diane Keaton. I think she has this quirky way about her. I like quirky.
People often put up a crusty appearance when they have had a deep hurt. I often wonder, when someone seems a bit ouchity, what has happened to them. We don’t know the damage to their heart. We don’t know what is going on in their journey. We can only know, they are hurting.
Hurting people hurt others. We sometimes just enter their day at the wrong time. We can exchange nastiness for nastiness or we can acknowledge that they are having a bad day and tell them simply, “Wow, life is hard and some days are more difficult than others.” I love the looks I get when I say that phrase.
Sometimes, they realize that they are spewing their nastiness and change their attitude. Sometimes, well, they don’t give a horse’s patootie and we need to acknowledge them for what they are, a product of their environment or just the south end of a donkey. I try my best, as difficult as it may be, to treat everyone the way I want to be treated.
There is a new TV show that premiered this past Tuesday called “The Village.” I am already hooked. You see, it’s based on the stories of all the residents in an apartment building and how their lives intertwine and how they take care of one another, even when they, themselves need care.
What I have found is that some of the happiest people have the saddest stories. It seems that they have found a new appreciation for life after recovery or survival of what could have destroyed them.
They say that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. While that is true, there is more truth to be found, if we seek and find the story.
There is so much to be discovered when we share our story with those whom we share our community. Some of the most comforting words are, “I’ve been there.”
We all benefit when we take the time to seek and find. Perhaps we all need to take the time to ask a few questions and maybe we will find that we all have a story that needs to be told.