Sandwiched
The sandwich generation can be an ironic place sometimes. One the one hand, your elderly parent who raised you and seemed to know anything and everything suddenly needs YOU to parent THEM more and more.
On the other hand, your own children are getting older and more independent and often act like they DON’T need you anymore. Hanging out with Mom and Dad is no longer cool. When you do try to plan a family event, it must be done weeks in advance because of your children’s work and activity schedules.
My oldest son Jonathon turned 18 last December, which was exciting in some ways and scary in others. It was weird to see him register on his own at Riverview Health for an X-ray over the holiday break. But it’s also great that he can now drive himself to things like routine dentist appointments.
Jonathon is a busy high school senior right now, attending J. Everett Light Career Center on weekday afternoons, working part-time at Pizza Hut, and completing scholarship applications. We don’t often have long conversations.
However, that’s changed recently due to the fact that he has his first serious girlfriend. (Whom I finally got to meet last Saturday – such a doll!) Suddenly I’m getting all kinds of questions, which I’m happy to answer.
Whenever Jonathon or Jacob want to talk to me, I’ve always had a policy of immediately setting aside – or almost throwing down – whatever item I’m working on or reading in order to completely and totally focus on them. When a teenage boy wants to talk, you’d better dedicate yourself 100 percent to such a rare moment!
It makes me happy that Jonathon values my thoughts regarding the world of dating. I’ve done my best to remember what it was like decades ago to be a teenager in a significant relationship. It’s a wonderful, exciting time, but also one that can be filled with anxiety.
Often when we wrap up our talks, I hug Jonathon and let him know I’ll pray for him. This may generate an eye roll sometimes, but I can tell that deep down he appreciates it.
When it seems like it’s been days since I’ve really talked to my sons, I just remember moments like this and know that once in awhile, my boys still need their mom and dad. And I hope they understand that we’ll always be here for them no matter how old they are.